Critiques [CLOSED]

#154 New And Badass

New And Badass by @Marisha_bae

Very interesting start - found it very amusing especially with the bit about the arresting people for nothing.

Dialogue needs to end with a comma. If the bit after it is an action then you need a full stop. Please refer to other critiques about dialogue formatting.

Ellipses only need 3 dots.

Thoughts should be in italics.

Tense jumps sometimes.

If you have the same person speaking then you need to have them have their own, same paragraph.

I would describe more and put less pictures (you can still put pictures in but maybe at the end) since description is the best way of improving your writing.

Overall, a good start. Perhaps a little cliché in the plot line but we'll see.

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