#41 Willing Her To Love Me

27 4 3

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Willing Her to Love Me by @madeofchina

This story had a very intriguing start. Like it really pulled me in.

Excellent choice of vocab that was sophisticated but not so much that it detracted from the flow of the prose.

When you have an adjective and then a present participle, then you need a hyphen in between.

Nice imagery and description.

The whole obsessive thing with Elise I found very very creepy. I know you did this intentionally and it did a good job of getting a reaction out of the reader but bear in mind the ethics of the story.

You needed paragraph breaks but I marked these up for you.

Overall a very VERY good story. I thoroughly enjoyed it! Sorry this critique was so short.

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