#100 Perfect 10

24 6 2

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Perfect 10 by @Jumping_Jiminys

You are the 100th client! WHOOOO!!!! I GUESS YOU SCORED A PERFECT 10 THERE (BADUM SCHHH)

CHAPTERS 4-6

Anyway. :) You need commas before names (this was quite a prominent thing).

Comma splices were big too. I commented on these anyhow. And also separating sentences.

I loved the flashback scene. It really showed the guards' cruelty and the mother's desperation.

Dialogue - again - commas need to be in place and blah blah blah, lower cases and all that (you know the drill or at least I think you do.)

Overall, a brilliant continuation. It reminds me of Divergent.

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