Critiques [CLOSED]

#64 The Tangled Princess

The Tangled Princess by @nonameleftxx
CHAPTERS 6-8

You need commas to separate subordinate clauses. You also had some minor mistakes with articles and things but I commented the corrections for you.

There were some sentences that didn't really make sense. Maybe you should go through and proofread more often.

Comma splices were very prominent. Don't separate two sentences with a comma.

I can see where you've really taken my comments to improve this story. Dialogue was a lot better but there were some odd cases here and there but on the whole it was a lot better.

The main character was more developed and round, which I liked. The plot was moving along nicely too.

Try and keep everything in the past tense since that is the tense of your story.

Overall, a good continuation. It's got a lot of potential.

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