Critiques [CLOSED]

#152 A Dangerous Woman

A Dangerous Woman by @Gal77777

Numbers spelled out look more formal (like Blaise's age when she was seven).

This was extremely intriguing - I loved the backstory with the father and the brother. I would, however, like a little more insight into Blaise but I think that will come along later.

Liked the realism and you also incorporated some innocence too.

Comma splices - separate these with semi colons or ordinary full stops.

Commas before names.

Tense jumps - keep everything in the past!

You were accidentally funny in a few places :) (like the bit about the finger I laughed at).

Unnecessary commas in places. Please look at my comments and corrections for guidance.

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