Critiques [CLOSED]

#66 Hunter's Shadow

Hunter's Shadow by @EmmaConnolly379
CHAPTERS 9-11

In the first chapter you had very minor errors. On the whole this story has very much improved and I can see you've taken a lot of care with making sure this happens. :)

Dashes need a space on either side.

You need a colon (not a semi colon) to introduce someone's speech when it starts on a new paragraph.

You need a capital after an ellipsis if the sentence is new and not a continuation from before the ellipsis.

The apostrophe of possession is still a problem, I'm afraid. :(

Commas before names.

You'll be very familiar with the line 'and here' now. You should know what it means by now but if you don't then just say. :)

You didn't have that many comma spices this time round which was good.

Only use dashes at the beginning of dialogue if it's interrupting the one before. You seemed to do a lot of this and it became a little odd as well as incorrect.

Too many ellipses for my liking. Sorry...

Numbers spelled out look more formal.

Overall, a really great improvement. This book has improved so much since that first chapter!!

Also, I thought I'd share a picture of what my notebook looks like while I'm reading and correcting your work. It's not very interesting and it mentions all do the points above but I thought it would be fun to add it in because no one really knows how I make this process work. :) Oh, and please excuse my messy handwriting!!

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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