#69 The Faerie Forest

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de xanabanana66x

de xanabanana66x

The Faerie Forest by CayliRhea
CHAPTERS 7-9

Again you had quite a few comma splices.

A LOT of commas not being there before dialogue or being in the wrong place.

Small tense jumps but I think they were mainly typos so I commented on most of them for you.

Mostly just clearing up with grammar - everything else was great

You need commas before names

A very good plot line and good development between Arthur and Darion.

The gerund hyphen thing is still a bit of a problem

Arthur's age!! Read the comment about that and you'll see what I mean...

Like I said and like you said, chapter 8 is too long. Consider cutting it where I suggested.

Good description of the sister in the last chapter. That was one of my favourites.

Overall, a great continuation. It's still going strong and steady which is all good.

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