Confessions

106 "My 4'11 ex girlfriend"

Post taken from//Fb page: FEU Secret Files

"My 4'11"" (ex) girlfriend"

This will be quite long so take your time. This love story i thought started 4 years ago. Originally, we came both from ust. Then things fucked up for me so i was forced to stop. Patong patong na units ba naman binagsak ko eh, but for her, things were going pretty well. We were both on programs na we never chose in the first place. Kaya kalaunan talaga napilitan kaming mag lipat ng college. And fortunately, we ended up transferring sa feu. Siya as 2nd year, ako naman balik freshman. Everything was so magical in our relationship, everything was smooth-sailing. From España to Morayta nga naman ang destinasyon. Masaya talaga pag sa simula.

But basically, it's inevitable na magkaron kayo ng problema. Problems arising from the most pathetic situations, most stupid reasons. But again, fortunately yung mga petty complications nagawa naming lagpasan. We were so close to the point na i myself got involved sa isang seryosong family problem nila. Questionable talaga naging status ng family nila. Medyo close kami nung mom niya kaya she asked me for a favor to look after my ex. Biruin mo sobrang layo ng bahay namin sa kanila. 3 hours halos biyahe di pa kasama traffic sa edsa. But i came to her aid. Knowing na sobrang depressed and down niya from this terrible family dilemma. Even spending the night sa kanila just to make sure na okay lang siya. Kahit wala nang paa-paalam sa nanay ko. Tanggap ko na namang mapapagalitan ako. Nagawan naman ng pamilya niyang lagpasan yung problema. And i was thankful for that. Years passed and andami dami pa naming pagtatalo na pinagdaanan. Kahit nung mismong 18th birthday niya may problema kami. To the point na i was removed from her 18 roses. Tas nagkaayos ulit kami so nalagay ako ulit, then nagtalo na naman kami kaya natanggal na naman ako. Hanggang nagkaayos kami ulit nang hindi ko na pinapaalam sa parents niya.

So nung una legal kami, pero nung latter part hindi na. Sooner we both grew with our vices. Ako adik sa dota, siya naman di ko mapigilan mag bar. Pero tolerable naman both, ayoko lang talaga na nagbabar siya. May tiwala naman ako sa kanya, pero sa mga tao sa lugar na yon wala. Ampangit nung transition ng paglalahad ko ng kwento namin no? Pero please keep reading. Sobrang dami pang problema, patong patong na stress samin and sa school pa. To the point na, i admit, we both grew tired of our own shits. We even asked ourselves if it was still worth fighting for. We ended up to that point na parang tinatamad na kami parehas. Yung tipong alam niyong may problema kayo, pero binabalewala niyo na lang dahil nakakapagod na. We were exhausted from this never ending problems na sumusulpot kung san san. Kahit yung napaka simpleng problema na hindi niyo naman talaga kailangan pagtalunan, lumaki ng lumaki dahil nagpapataasan kayo ng pride. I tried facing the problem. I tried confronting her about it. I told her na alam kong pagod na siya, but at least a little bit more of an effort is enough. I was confident na malalagpasan namin yon, andami dami na naming naexperience na ganon, but i was wrong.

The light dimmed, and everything i thought was still worth saving, was squashed along with those 3 years i spent with her. Napagod na siya, i tried, pero mapapagod ka rin talaga kung ikaw lang yung gumagawa ng paraan. I know i have my own share of shortcomings, hindi naman mawawala yon sa kahit anong relasyon. I fucked up, i admit. But from the bottom of my heart, i loved her. 8 months ago we ended things up. And now i see myself still, having a hard time moving forward. Maybe depressing though, we ended up in such bad terms. Whenever we see each other inside feu, we're totally complete strangers. I wrote this without the even the slightest of thought na mababasa niya to. Just wanted to get this out of my system. I've seen your worst and stayed. I gave my best yet you still left. Stressed af.

Dramatic Mofo
2014
IABF
FEU Manila