Confessions

36 "Goodnight"

Post taken from//Fb page: Student Secret Files

#SSFthrowback

Goodnight

The moment I heard them play, I knew they were going to be the next big thing. Masaya ako pero at the same time natakot rin ako, so tinanong ko siya.

"Kapag sumikat kayo, will you still love me?"

Childish, pero I wanted comforting words from him kahit alam kong the future is uncertain.

"I will always love you."

Tuwing may gig sila, and nilalapitan siya ng girls, nagseselos ako. Pero what he does the moment he sees my face frown is priceless. Hihilahin niya ako towards him, and ipapakilala niya ako sa mga girls na yun, hindi bilang girlfriend.

"Si ____ nga pala. My one and only."

He never called me his girlfriend. For him, I was so much more. I was his one and only.

Corny, pero being in my situation that time, alam kong kikiligin rin kayo.

After graduation, I was set to fly to Canada while his band signed a contract. Though a million miles apart, we always make it a point to video call everyday. I was a witness to their rise to stardom. I was extremely happy for them up until everyday video calls became a once-a-week thing. Sometimes those once-a-week video calls doesn't even last for more than an hour. I understood he was busy, but we were so far away from each other and I missed him so much.

I began to grow cold towards him, and he noticed. Everytime he would ask what was wrong, I would say nothing.

A year passed, and we rarely talk to each other anymore. In a month we talked once or twice, but we were always cut short because of his hectic schedule.

We started drifting apart.

Nagkaron ako ng ibang ka-relasyon. He was a guy from work. He found out about us, and wala kaming naging closure.

Tinanggap ko na lang. Our relationship was doomed from the start.

After 4 years, bumalik ako sa Pilipinas para magbakasyon. Sobrang sikat na nila, especially him. Nagkaron din siya ng breaks with acting. Good for him, I thought.

I searched for them thru the internet, and listened to some of their songs. Napansin kong parang sequential yung songs nila. Parang sinulat for someone. Pinakinggan kong mabuti yung lyrics, at dun ako nagsimulang mapa-luha.

Every song written and every album made, was dedicated to me.

The ups-and-downs of our relationships, the moment he found out I cheated, it was all there.

I wish I knew better then. Pero siguro nga it all happened for a reason. He deserved so much better. Now, I can only be happy for him.

Conservatory of Music