Confessions

86 "Emotional Investment"

Post taken from//Fb page: De La Salle University - Dasmariñas Secret Files

EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT- HOW TO MOVE ON SA SOBRANG MAHAL MO?

"Is it worth it? Ang laki ng emotional investment mo. pero ganun lang ang bilis niyo nagsama?" - Rico Yan,Got2believe

I keep asking myself why people leave? I keep wondering what could have possibly happened that changed their minds overnight? I keep wondering how someone can make you feel like you're everything they ever wanted one day and then wake up and decide not to talk to you anymore.

It's been almost two years since she left me. Napakadami pa din na unanswered questions, madaming di nabigyan ng linaw sa paghihiwalay pero patuloy pa din akong nagmamahal, patuloy ko pa din tinutupad lahat ng pangako kahit na iniwan na ako at pakiramdam na wala siyang pakialam, ako na lang lumalaban kahit na parang tadhana sumuko na din.

Totoo pala yung magic sa love na kapag gusto mo ang tao at kapag sobrang mahal mo lahat gagawin mo para mapasaya siya. Hindi maiiwasan na dumating sa point na minsan di mo naiisip sarili mo kasi siya ang priority mo at kasama sa plano mo ang magandang future kasama siya.

Bago naging kami 2 years ko na siyang crush at in a relationship siya that time. I can sense that they won't last long and I keep on trusting intuitions na kami yung para sa isa't isa. Kami yung tinadhana kaya hinintay ko siya. Naging kami at masaya ang lahat. it came to the point that I have to leave to study again abroad but what is LDR? Araw araw ko siya niligawan, wala ako pakialam sa past niya. Binigay ko sa kanya lahat ng pagmamahal, pagpapasaya at effort na madalas pinapangarap ng ibang babae sa kasintahan nila. good conversations, good morning messages, long messages, song, poem, DIY stuff, surprises, flowers, gifts (simple,extravagant), time to talk her everyday kahit pagod kana, surprise ng uwi sa pinas, travels and all. Im also her personal adviser, assistant, driver, encoder, designer, photographer, taga gawa ng thesis, critic, tutor and all. As said I gave her everything that I know will make her happy. Most especially Prayers para sa kanya, family niya at sa relationship. Di pwede kalimutan si God, siya nagbigay sakin ng taong mamahalin. As in everything to let her feel that she is loved, respected and appreciated na siya na talaga na ayaw ko siya mawala at magmahal ng iba pa. Kahit kailan sa lahat ng pagkamoody niya, rants in life, pagka maldita, lagi ko siya iniintindi, di ako lumaban. Close na din ako sa family and friends niya. Napamahal na din sakin. Kasal na lang ang kulang. Mga bagay na ako lang nagbigay at nagparamdam sa kanya. SHE DESERVE ALL OF THIS BECAUSE SHE IS THE BEST WOMAN. SHE IS A BLESSING FROM GOD.

But then one day sa isang selos lang nawala ang lahat. She didn't give me another chance. Hindi na din kami naguusap. Hindi na kami pero nageeffort pa din ako kahit na madami ng rejections kahit gabi gabi na ako umiiyak. I don't care at all because for me I have promises to her but I stop when she honestly told me that she's already inlove with another man last month.

Oo masakit! Everyday may burden.I went from feeling like I was on top of the world, to lying in my living room crying like a newborn. i miss her loudly in the moments that I'm awake, the text messages she used to send me and the companionship she gave me. I miss her always and the aching need for her that struck me at my core. Sobrang sakit!!!!! ibinigay muna lahat pero wala pa din but GOD HAS ALWAYS A PLAN. In spite of this I still respect her, I still love her and I will still continue to pray for her. All the best for her and that his new man will love her more than I love her and please be the kind of man that every girl truly deserved.

Life goes on.God's plan

Troy-BS EE 2009
PS: HOW TO MOVE ON?

Troy-Computer Engineering 2008
College of Science and Computer Studies
(CSCS) 2005-2008