My Favorite Psychopath // Joker x Reader One Shots

#150 if I get a little prettier, can I be your baby?

Warnings: eating disorders, anorexia. Please, don't read, if you're triggered by these.

You're beautiful. I promise ♡

Y/n let out another sigh as she watched all those thin strippers dancing in mister J's club from the VIP lounge. She couldn't help the feeling weighed in her heart getting heavier and heavier. All those negative sayings she heard them: the strippers talked about her behind her back never left her head. Y/n wasn't able to shut them up. Every time she tried, it only resulted in them getting louder. Look at that ugly bitch. Mister J could do so much better. They said before started giggling. Y/n pretended that she didn't care. She pretended that she didn't hear, but it hurt. It hurt a lot, and the worst part was she started to believe them. Maybe, she wasn't good enough for J. Maybe, he was too embarrassed to tell the world she was his. That's why he never took her with him to any mission he went. The Joker was away for business, and would be gone for another month. Y/n missed him. She wished he would allow her to come with him, but he said it was for her own safety. She'd better stay home. Now that the Joker wasn't around, the girls - those strippers - started taking it even further. In the past, it was just some gossip words they talked behind y/n's back, now they started to publicity bullying her, calling her names, telling her she wasn't pretty enough for the Joker, that's why he didn't take her with him, he was ashamed of having an ugly girl as his girlfriend. And y/n started to believe them. She started to look at herself as something unworthy to the king. Look at those perfect girls dancing and holding every man's attention out there, and look at her! She had nothing compared to them. Why couldn't she be like them? Then, y/n looked down at her body and that's when she felt so stupid for never realized it until now. Of course, it was so obvious. How could she just figure it out! Her weight, her shape, her body! She felt disgusted with herself. But most importantly, she felt so bad for mister J. It must be very painful for him: having to sleep with a fat pig like her and to call her 'his girl' he was the Joker, the king! He deserved so much better. Anyone was better than her.

Y/n spent the night wide awake, thinking. She'd do everything just to be good enough for J, but how. How could she be just as half as pretty as those girls? How could she change herself. How could she change her body. Just then, something snapped inside her: pretty girls don't eat, right? Yes, it must be, y/n told herself. Those girls' secret, if y/n wanted to be like them, she mustn't eat. Uncompromisingness ignited in her eyes. Y/n told herself she'd make it. By the time mister J would return, she'd be thin for him.

♤

Y/n started eating less and less until she stopped eating at all. It had just been only a few weeks and the change in her appearance was very obvious it worried every henchman around her, mostly because  they knew it'd be their asses on the line if the Joker came home and realized she hadn't been taken care of. Though she just wouldn't eat. Every time Frost asked if she was okay 'I'm fine' was always her answer. It was obvious she was far from being fine. The right-hand man never remembered his boss's girl being so thin and unhealthy, still, what could he do? She wasn't a little kid. He couldn't just force her to eat.

Disregard how skinny y/n got, in her eyes, it still wasn't enough. Never enough. She still hated that girl she saw every time she stood in front of a mirror. Her body was begging for her to put some food in it, but y/n refused to, too scared of gaining a single pound. She had to be skinny. She had to be pretty. It was all for him. So mister J wouldn't be shame to call her his girl.

♤

Today was the day, mister J was coming home and y/n never felt so insecure. Fuck! She fail. She wasn't able to reach her goals in time. Looking at her body made her sick. It was the same body she used to look at - without having any problem with it -since she was born, until those thoughts crept up in her mind. How could she allow herself to be so fat?! No, she wouldn't see how skinny and unhealthy she looked. She was blinded by what those girls said about her, blinded by the society's definition of 'beauty'