My Favorite Psychopath // Joker x Reader One Shots

#65 two ghosts

Based on the song: two ghosts by Harry Styles

Same lips red, same eyes blue, same white shirt, couple more tattoos. I watch as J sits across the table from me with Harley on his lap. He still has the same white button up shirt, same red lips, those blue eyes are never changed. Seems like he got a couple more tattoos as well. He is still the Clown Prince and I am still me, but at the same time, it's not him and it's not me. It's not us. I can't touch what I see. I watch as Harley runs her hand pass his firm chest, sounds like something I used to feel. I'm so lost in thoughts of what it used to be between him and I. Joker seems uncomfortable as well since I'm right here. No, not a living soul in this meeting of Gotham's Crime lords knows about the history between the two of us. It's just so long ago, we were so young. Now he has Harley and I has Tate, my boyfriend, one of Gotham's biggest drug lords. However, my little trance breaks when Tate places his hand on my shoulder, it's kind of obvious I got zoned out "You okay?" Tate asks "Yeah" I lie. I'm not okay. I'm struggling to hold back the tears since Harley is trying to make out with the man who's still hold the big spot in my heart right in front of me in the middle of the meeting. Though something tells me he's not enjoying it, his blue orbs look as lifeless as my brown ones. I don't know if he feels the way I feel ever since the break up: dead inside. Forty minutes later, the meeting's finally over, and I don't have to be forced to watch Harley trying to get in the Joker's pants anymore. People are leaving the room, and somehow, J and I happened to be the last two who's still in the room. I try to avert his eyes, but when I was about to walk out the door, I hear my name left his mouth. How I missed the sound of it "Y/n" Joker calls. I slowly turn around to face him, our eyes meet for the first time in forever "H- hi" I say awkwardly, we hadn't spoken to each other since forever, and I honestly don't know how to keep it natural "How've you been?" Joker asks "Good" I smile. It's a big fat lie. I still love him, but I know there's no way things are going to be the way it used to be, and it's slowing killing me from the inside. J nods. "It's been so long" I add and chuckle, try to keep this conversation as less awkward as possible "Yeah..." J seems like he runs out of words too. The last thing we spoke to each before we decided to go our separate way that night was how we regretted being a part of each other's lives. I don't know about him, but as for me, I regret saying that every single day. I had come to realize there's nothing I regret more than walking out of his life. Still, we were just kids, we spoke things we didn't mean, and ended up regretting it.
"It's good seeing you again, J" I know he can hear the crack in my voice and how my eyes start to get teary. So that's why I had to end the conversation before I'd broke down. I turn and about to leave when "You still remember our place?" I stop dead in my tracks, slowly, I turn back again "Yes... of cause" I answer as memories flood through my head. Fuck, I still long for this man with every broken piece of my heart "Are you... umm... free tomorrow night?" He stutters. I was the only person who got the infamous Joker stuttered when we were together, seems like I still has it in me. I smile at him, and nod, which I can see his smile gets wider. It's not one of his evil smiles though. It's the kind of smile he used to give me back in the past when things were so easy. How I missed that smile "Tomorrow at nine. Let's catch up at our place" He purrs. God, how I missed that purr of his.
"Y/n?" Before I can see anything, Tate interrupts our conversation since it's starting to get long. I nod at my boyfriend, signaling him I'll follow up shortly after, and he leaves, and I was once again alone with my ex. Tate had no idea about what Joker and I had, what we... used to be. So for him, we were just having some business talk, nothing to worry about. I then look back at Joker and speak quietly just for him to here "See you tomorrow night then" "See you tomorrow, doll" and with that, I walk up to Tate while J walks up to Harley. I can see Harley hooks her arm with his as they make their way to the infamous purple Lamborghini. Tate has his arms around me as he walks us to his fancy sport car.

21:00 the following night.
I sit under the same tree at Gotham city park, our place. We loved to be here and just escaped from everything, talked about whatever under this very tree. Flashback of all the good times we shared, the laughs, the kisses, the I love you's. Yes, Joker used to say those three words to me so many times, and I'd say it back. I heard it became prohibited words for him now. I don't know if it's true. He never told Harley he loves her? She's his girlfriend. But still, a lot of things happened. I don't know what happened to J after we broke up, and I can't blame him, if that something made him the way he is: cold, heartless, thirst for blood, incapable of any human feelings, that's what I heard. I doubt that though, from the little conversation we had yesterday, he is still the sweet caring man, at least for me.
I look at the time on my phone: 21:19
He's not going to come. Of cause, what am I thinking. I shook my head and when I'm about to grab my purse, I hear footsteps coming from behind. I turn back and... gasp, surprised to see Joker all dresses up. He's in a neat tuxedo and in his hand is a beautiful red rose "My apologies for keeping you wait. I ran into the Bat" He chuckles and hands me the flower, I take it "Thank you, J. It's beautiful" I speak, knowing my cheeks flush pink for sure. He's still as romantic as ever "Thank you for coming. I... umm missed you" The clown spoke and as I look into his blue eyes that still hold me captivate, I found something, something I used to see, something I thought was long gone: love. It's still there. It's still there as he looks at me, and I can see from my own reflection in the blue in his eyes that I'm returning the same thing. Right in the moment, we're silently speaking what's in our hearts by looking each other in the eyes. We're saying "I love you" to each other without saying a word. "I... I missed you too" I say. J has a sad smile on his face. Now that our feelings are clear. We still love each other, but we can't be who we used to be. At least, not in this world. I don't even know since when did our love become "prohibited" but it is now, and there's nothing we can do about it. I know Joker sees how broken I am as I stand in front of him. I think he doesn't want the little moment we're having to be filled with sadness, me either. So he try to light up the mood "You still remember our dance?" He asks me in a soft voice "How could I forget?" I give him a soft smile, and then I find his strong arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me against his body. His other hand holding mine "Allow me" He says and I nod, letting him leads me into our dance. It's still feels the same as how it used to feel years ago. Dancing in the pale moonlight, this was all we used to need. He twirls me under his arms, and in that moment, I'm the girl I used to be again, I'm his girl again. Our eyes meet, and once again, we're silently saying "I love you" to each other without opening our mouths. I don't even know how long we've been dancing. All I know is that in this moment, there's only the two of us against the world. Nothing else matters. It feels like nothing else would ever matter again. We lose track of time until his phone rings "I'm sorry" He let go of me and reaches his hand in his pocket. With the same job field, I totally understand him. It's very important not to ignore a single phone call, it could be something emergency. "What is it?" He speaks to the person on the other side of the line, his voice returns to the cold, emotionless just like how he speaks to the rest of the world, except for me. I can't help but notice his facial expression gets dead serious as he listens to whatever the person on the other side is speaking. "Is everything okay?" I ask when he hangs up. He looks at me, his brows furrowing "Batman got her... Harley. He's taking her to Arkham. I-"
"Just go" I say with reassuring smile. He seems surprised at how calm I am "Go. It's okay. She needs you"
"I'm... I'm sorry. I really am" He says and I chuckle
"Just tell me I'm still the only one who got the infamous Joker apologized and stuttered" I playfully say, watching him let out a low chuckle "That never changed, doll" He laughs and all of a sudden, out of the blue, his soft lips touch mine. My eyes widen at the unexpected kiss, but soon, I find myself closing my eyes, kissing back with equally enthusiasm. The kiss isn't rough, no, it's soft and gentle as we make up for the lost years. I completely forget about everything else. It's like the world stops turning, and it's just us again. Joker pulls away eventually "Just don't... forget about us" He speaks "I won't" I reply. The clown pulls a strand of hair out of my face, and tugs it behind my ear. He cups my cheeks, our lips still hovering over each other's.
"I..." He stutters
"I know. Me too" I cut him off and steal a quick kiss. We used to had no problem speaking the three words to each other out loud. But things changed. Now, we can only speaking it by looking each other in the eyes. I guess that's the best we can ask for, but it's enough. He let go and slowly backing away. I wave at him, and gave him a smile which he returns. Then, the moment he turns his back towards me and walking away, the moment I allow a single drop of tear to runs down my cheek, it lands on the ground, the same ground we used to share the best time of our lives together. Now that he disappears into the darkness, it's just me alone, standing in the place of him and me.
This world wouldn't allow us to be. We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat.