My Favorite Psychopath // Joker x Reader One Shots

#67 can't love can't hurt

Requested by @xo.fuentez.xo via Instagram & emilie1ew  I combined the two requests because I thought it'd fit together well. So here it is. Enjoy :)xx

Y/n's PTSD was only getting worse. Though what was even worse was the fact Joker never knew about this. She'd never tell him, afraid that he'd think she was weak. The Joker didn't keep broken things around, no, he'd get rid of it. He'd make her leave, or even kill her, if he found out. Or so y/n thought. And so she kept it all by herself. The haunted dreams. Not only that it haunted her in her sleeps, it also effected her in her wide awake state. Almost every night, y/n'd have the same nightmare repeating itself over and over of the incident last month, causing y/n to bolt up straight, covering in sweat, panting hard. She was afraid she'd act out of her sleep, and scream or anything. And that mister J would know she wasn't that tough girl he expected her to be.
The bullet wound on the Joker's abdomen by y/n's hand seemed to get better though, the total opposite to her mental state. Tonight, it happened again.

Y/n was running through the dark woods, occasionally turned back to see the shadow of the monster chasing her. She fired at him, but in her panic state mixed with storm and darkness, she missed. The girl had never felt so scared. This man was her stalker. He had observed the Clown Prince's girlfriend for months now. He was obsessed with her, wanted to have all of her just for himself. Apparently, the man couldn't cope with it well when he was being rejected. He figured if y/n couldn't return the love, he'd still make her his anyway, no matter how. "You can't run forever, darling, you're mine. We're going to get married, and it will be just you and me forever. Not even the Joker can separate us!" The man yelled, and it only encouraged y/n to run faster. He was right, Joker couldn't save her. She was on her own. Y/n kept running and running. Her clothes were torn apart by the branches from trees she ran pass, some thorns scratched her delicate skin, drawing blood. But she couldn't stop, the monster chasing her was only gaining speed. Y/n could hear his heavy footsteps getting closer and closer. It was a shame Joker was too busy with his business to know about what was happening. Y/n screamed when she stumbled and fell to the ground, hitting her knees with the hard root of the tree that tripped her. As she tried to get up, the sharp pain seeped through her body from her angle, causing her to fall back down. Apparently, she broke her angle as well. Y/n was helpless as the footsteps were coming for her. She thought she heard gunshot sound, but the mixture of the storm and her unstable mind made it hard to tell. Y/n gripped the handle of her gun tight as she backed away. Her eyes widened when she saw a big shadow approaching her. Without thinking, y/n pulled the trigger
*bang*
"Y/n. It's me!" Y/n gasped when she heard the familiar voice crying in pain "J?... J!!" She crawled to the figure in the darkness as it fell on its knees. She could see now as she got closer, she just shot the Joker! Y/n watched in horror of what she did. Blood gushing out of J's stomach and he fell, but y/n caught him before he could hit the ground. She pressed her hand on his wound, trying to stop the bleeding "Baby, I'm so sorry. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't know" She kept rambled. Joker tried to chuckle, but it only cause blood to cough up blood "Shh, princess, it's okay" He tried to speak through the blood dripping down his mouth "I... killed him, baby. He can't hurt you anymore" J added, referring to her stalker. Though the situation didn't make y/n feel any better. She shook her head as more tears running down her cheeks "No, no, baby, don't leave me. Please, don't leave me" Y/n felt like there were knives stabbed right at her heart when J closed his eyes. There was nothing she could do "J J J!!!" Y/n shot up straight as she screamed his name, panting, tears still rolling down her face.

It took y/n a moment to realize it was that same dream again. Her head had once again replayed the incident happened last month. Of cause, she didn't kill Joker. The henchmen followed and they got the clown help just in time. Joker was fine. Her stalker was gone, but the nightmares stayed. It was as if she had to be in that situation again and again every time she closed her eyes (or even if she kept them open) it drained the life out of her. Even though it was just the illusion her brain made up to keep y/n reminded of what she did, she couldn't help but scared, not of her now dead stalker, but she was haunted by the thoughts of what if one day, she hurt J again and what if she killed him. She was afraid of what would J do if he found out about her mental illness. It was only a matter of time. She was of herself, afraid that she'd somehow hurt J again.
"Baby?" Y/n almost jumped when she heard her clown call her name. She was so lost in thoughts she didn't even hear the door opened, didn't ever hear his footsteps until he was only inches away from her, and already had his hand on her shoulder "You okay?" J asked. It was obvious something was bothering his girl "I'm... I'm fine" Before J could say anything else, y/n pushed him aside with a little force and made her way out of the room "Y/n" The clown called after, but she didn't turn back, couldn't, she couldn't let her tear a single drop of tear rolled down her cheek.
Joker made a mental note he'd get the answer out of her one way or another. She had been so cold towards ever since that night. He wanted to follow, and made her talk to him right there and then, but then he figured it'd better to let her be for now. They'd talk things over when was ready. He didn't want to push her and in turn out, had her isolated herself from him even more.