Shattered Mind Saga

(DAY) 1

“It wasn’t like this when my sister was born,” I answered. “My parents still showered me with their time and love even when they had a new baby. My older brother and sister did the same. Now I’m the middle child. They won’t even let me hold the damn baby you know. Even in the day time. I’ve never killed or hurt anything in the daytime. I can’t help what my night-self does. Even if I know what he’s doing I’m powerless against him. Just like he is powerless against me in the day time. I hate being treated like some kind of freak. I keep thinking they were different with me when Nakita was born. Now that there precious Angel is here, no one will allowed near him.”

“You were four when Nakita was born,” Dr. Grey said. “Your night-self had yet to surface. Besides you were still a baby yourself when Nakita was born. You agree that a four year old needs more attention than a fifteen year old.”

“They treat him as if he is better than me. Kennedy won’t sleep in the house anymore. She turned eighteen and now she only ever sleep at home in the day time or when I’m not home. Billy sleeps with a gun in his nightstand as well. They all lock their doors and at night father locks me in the basement.”

“Tell me about the basement. How did you get out last night,” He asked.

“My father tends to be careless around my day-self. He left the key on the counter. I get so hungry at night. I become so thirsty. The taste of iron, the sour taste fills my mouth. I only thought that I would come up after they were safe and tucked away in their rooms with their locked doors. I thought I would come up and get something to drink and go back down.

The moon was beautiful last night. I remember thinking I love the moon. I got a glass of milk but I heard the baby crying. My parents leave baby monitors throughout the whole house you see. I could hear Angel crying as if he was calling to me. I hate that sound at night. The wails of a child are like nails on a chalkboard to my night-self. I was just going to feed him. I warmed a bottle for him I know how; my day-self has done it countless times before. Then I grabbed a carving knife just in case.”

“Just in case what Ian?”

“Just in case the bottle wasn’t enough to make him silent.” The doctor wrote that down in his notepad as well.  “I went to his room and I tried the knob. It was unlocked. It hadn’t been the first time that he cried last night so the last person must have left it unlocked. I went in the room and I saw him crying in the moonlight. I picked up my brother and I held him for the first time since he was born. I sat down in the rocker with him and he stopped crying as we rocked. I showed him the way the light plays on the blade of the knife and he laughed.

He wanted to play with the knife as well. My night-self let him hold it and that’s when mother came in the room. She screamed as if I wasn’t even her son and father and Billy came running to her aid. My own brother pointed a gun at me until father took the knife and mother took the baby. Then father and Billy took me back to the basement. Father took his key and they locked me up until dawn when I was my day-self again.” I ended the monologue with a sigh just as the timer went off marking the end of our time together.

“I’ll see you next week Ian. Please tell your father that I want to speak with him,” he said. I stood up. Dr. Grey stood as well and ruffled my blond hair just like he has done at the end of all of our appointments since the first time I came here. “Ask Mary for some candy when you go out there.” I nodded. I went out to the waiting room to see my father on his phone sending a text to someone. He looked up at me his black hair streaked with gray. He says it’s because of all of his children but I’m sure I was the one that made him stressed the most.

“Dr. Grey wants to speak with you,” I told him and he patted my shoulder as he walked passed. I went to the desk with Mary the good doctor’s wife. Mary was a round woman with rosy checks and red hair and green eyes. She was always wearing bright colors or some crazy design to draw the eyes. She talked to everyone with this soft voice but I’ve seen Mary take down grown men when they lost control in the waiting room.