Haunted House

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Summary: Jade and Perrie go to a haunted house. Jade likes to act tough, but Perrie sees right through her.


"You are about an inch away from becoming a human koala, Perrie."

"It's cold."

"I told you to bring your jacket."

"You always tell me to bring a jacket."

"Because you are always cold." Jade sighs, leaning to the side to glance toward the front of the long line. They are finally nearing the entrance to the haunted house, and she is grateful, because Perrie is trembling in the cold and the guy standing behind them smells like both a flooded brewery and a burning pot field smashed into one. "I've been living with you for three years. I know you better than you know you."

"I know me pretty well," Perrie says, pressing her cold nose to Jade's cheek and bouncing on her heels to try to keep warm.

"And I know you even better."

"Whatever," Perrie grumbles. "Is the line moving?"

"At a snail's pace, but yes," Jade says, smiling and turning to press a cold kiss to Perrie's forehead. "Are you ready to scream your head off?"

"Ha," Perrie snorts and pokes Jade's side. "I never scream."

"You always scream."

"When?" Perrie asks and Jade smirks, but before the brunette can say anything, she adds, "And be serious."

Jade huffs. "Every year."

"Every year? Really?" Perrie drawls, and Jade's grin widens.

"Every year," she confirms. "Really."

"You scream too."

"Only because you do," Jade defends. "Your scream is enough to scare the hair off a cat. It's a chain reaction, instinctual. I'm never actually afraid."

"Sure, you're not."

"I'm not."

"Okay, Jade."

"Seriously, I'm not. Everything is fake. The makeup is well done here, and the sets and props are nearly film quality, but everything is still fake, Perrie. I don't find it scary. Entertaining? Sure, but scary? Not a chance."

"Okay, Jade."

"Stop saying 'Okay, Jade'. I'm serious, babe. I'm not scared."

"Okay, Jade."

Jade shrugs her shoulder to bounce Perrie's head away from where it is leaning against her, and when Perrie looks at her, amused, Jade glares. "I hope a fake werewolf eats you."

"I thought only you were allowed to eat me?" Perrie whispers, nipping at Jade's jaw. She laughs, low and raspy, when Jade's cheeks redden.

"I hope you slip in a pool of fake blood and bruise your ass then," Jade pouts, and Perrie laughs out loud.

"You'll just rub it until feels better, so who really is the winner?"

Clearing her throat, Jade leans to the side. "Oh look, two more people and then we finally get to go in."

Perrie tears open the night air with a scream pitched high enough to shatter ear drums when an actor, dressed as some strange sort of part-man, part-pig monster, sneaks up behind her and snorts in her ear. She jumps, literally off the ground, and Jade barely manages to stay on her own feet and catch Perrie at the same time.

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