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once again , Aleyna was drowning in her own thoughts

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once again , Aleyna was drowning in her own thoughts. there wasn't a day that went by without her thinking about her life , her marriage , her husband. she thought it would go away. that she would forget about it.

it wasn't as easy as she thought.

it kept her awake at night. it was like the memories were eating her alive from the inside. Aleyna hated that it affected her so much. but she cut herself some slack. her husband and her ex best friend decided to betray her like she'd never been betrayed before.

she knew the reason he probably cheated on her , was because she couldn't have children. she couldn't give him children , but Aleyna thought that he could've just placed divorce papers infront of her , instead of doing what he did.

all she wanted , was to be able to get up in the morning with a smile. she didn't want to have tears in her eyes. she didn't want her first thought to be about him and what he's done. she didn't want to feel as if the world was ending. she didn't want to feel alone.

her green eyes were closed and her arms were spread out. her thick brown hair was sprawled out as a thick vein popped out on her forehead.

she felt her nose burn , but she didn't open her eyes. she couldn't move her fingers as she felt her body slowly relaxing.

Aleyna felt an ache in her chest , she felt like screaming. she wanted this all to end. she wanted her heartache to just lessen. even if it's just for a little bit.

the love letters that she had written for him , were sprawled on the coffee table in the living room. every beautiful , sacred , pure word that was written for him , were replaced with 'I hate you' .

every 'come home' was replaced with 'come back to me'.

every 'I love you' was replaced with 'I thought you loved me too'.

Aleyna wanted to make peace with the fact that nothing was ever going to be the same. that she'd have to leave him behind. that she'd have to store their memories away.

she had to.

but she didn't want to.

at least , not yet.

though her hands wrote those hatred words towards him , her heart wants to hold on. it wants to hold on to the good memories they had.

she wanted to believe that the feeling of his hands around her waist , was a real feeling. she wanted to believe that every 'I love you' he told her , was real.

𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘 | l.messi Where stories live. Discover now