{√}Our Houseboy ||YiZhan FF||

Eighty Two

Mrs. Susan cried her eyes out until she became weak and didn't know what to do anymore neither did she know how to amend this mess she practically brought upon herself. She cried until she found herself standing up and going outside, maybe to find comfort or answers from the twilight emitting outside. She stood for a while and asked herself a few questions she had been meaning to ask herself. 

Why did she have to be so mean towards the son of the woman she alleged she loved? Why did she let herself be consumed by hatred towards the poor that she was supposed to stand up for? Why did she do all she did to Zhan without thinking of the repercussions? And now, her retribution is to sit and watch the people she loves and cared for hate because of that? Is this life worth living anymore? Isn't it best that she ends her life and saves herself from this pain? 

Where will she find Zhan? She had surveyed everywhere for Zhan and her husband's son and yet, they were nowhere to be found. What else did she have to do to find them? Mrs. Susan asked herself while gazing at the twilight as if seeking its help. She started prancing the whole compound while still asking herself so many questions she found no answers for until she got to the back of the mansion and headed to where Mr. Xiao and his wife were staying when they were still alive and were living in her house. For so many years, she refused anyone from entering that particular side of the house and strictly warned the old maids and servants to never breathe a word to Zhan of the occupants of that part of the house. 

It took her time before she was able to break inside that house and was greeted by dust and cobwebs. Mrs. Susan coughed out before switching on the old light and was appalled by the sight of the house. She proceeded on roaming inside and was crying on seeing the old usages of Mrs. Ann. Her clothes and that of her husband. So many things here reminded her of Mrs. Ann that she finds herself smiling while looking at them and was also touching them not minding the dust. 

She looked around for a while and was crying all through as everything reminds her of the old recollections of her beautiful maid she loved so much. The beautiful maid that completes her life. She was about to leave the house when something caught her eyes and made her stop in her tracks and turn to look at that thing. It was a book, a journal that was positioned in between two other books atop the large old shelf. Mrs. Susan was a very tall woman and with just a stretch of her hand, she was able to get the book down

At first, she was reluctant to look inside since it might be something meaningless but seeing the name written on it 'to my beloved madam' got Mrs. Susan curious that she immediately opened the journal and started reading the content. 

'From the very first time I started working for my madam, I found myself blushing each time I saw her smiling while admiring herself. The thing I love about her is the fact that she loves giving herself so many compliments on how beautiful she looks, especially her beautiful long hair. I won't lie, my madam is quite a very beautiful woman and her smile is virulent and can make anyone's day brighter. Oh, how I wish she would smile constantly and not always be furious. All I want is to make her happy, to see her smile, but I won't lie, I want that smile to be for my eyes alone to behold. I don't mind working for her for the rest of my life as long as I am always around her. Do you know why? Because I find myself falling for my madam I know very well she will never become mine. But I don't mind loving her alone without her returning that love to me. My love for her is selfless and I wish, just a wish of a poor woman... To have her as my woman, my mummy..." 

Mrs. Susan gasped on reading that. "Does she feel the same way I felt for her? She had always loved me? How did I not know about this?" She asked herself and continued reading. She gasped on seeing the questions she asked herself just now.