Spectrum of Yellows: Vocaloid Fanfiction (Pairings in desc.)

Chapter 128

Chapter 128
(Early A/N: this chapter is kind of nonlinear, as in, scenes flash back and forth. Just a heads-up.)

Len.

It was the end of another day, the first day of October.

The sun was setting, the sky painted with silky strokes of purples, blues, oranges and reds. I was sitting with Rin in the grass, atop that hill that I used to sit on with my mother, the place where I had lain with her, her hand in mine, our eyes set on the stunning vista.

"So," Rin whispered, resting her head on my shoulder, "How was today?"

I laced a hand into her hair and closed my eyes. "It was fine," I said, "I'm glad you were with me this time."

"Len, I'm sorry," she said softly. I shook my head.

During the last week of summer, my mother had died. The cancer had spread too far, and it had resulted in organ failure.

"M-Mom, no, please, please, please, look at me...," I was clutching her hands with mine.

She had her eyes half closed and she looked a lot older than she used to. She wasn't even speaking. Her irises were dull and lifeless, barely moving, looking past me.

"Len...," I was about to break down when Rin wrapped her arms around me from behind, pulling me close to her figure, "Close your eyes. Let the hurt bleed out of you, okay? I'm here. Cry if you need to. Just let it all out..."

It was only after that that I realized something. My mother was a fighter, and she fought, but she didn't win. Maybe winning wasn't the point. Fighting was.

"It's not your fault," I said to Rin, kissing her forehead, "I should be thanking you, actually. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be right now."

Gumi.

I was sitting at my desk at home, my head down, my shoulders shaking as I sobbed. I missed Yuma so much, but things were worse now. My life was falling apart because of him.

Our conversations had slowed down to almost nothing. I lifted my head and wiped my eyes, looking at my computer's screen. It displayed an empty document with a blinking cursor.

That was what the relationship between Yuma and me had become. Empty words and blinking cursors. I didn't really know how to talk to him anymore. I didn't know what kind of life he led. He just disappeared one day and never came back.

"Shit!" I cried and swept my keyboard aside violently, "Why, why, why, why?"

Hey, Yuma. I know we haven't talked in a while. I wonder why. I guess I could tell you about what happened this week.
Kaito brought a bouquet of leeks for Miku and she loved them. Rin aced her math test, and Len has a chemistry quiz in a couple of days.
I started playing basketball again. Hey, I have to do something, right? Running helps me cope with the fact that you're not by my side.
I want to touch you, but I can't.
I'm feeling hopeless, Yuma. My dad can't seem to get a new job. I don't think I'll be able to afford going to the same university as you.
Today, a new student came to my math class. His name is Leon.

I gritted my teeth and deleted the last line. I didn't like anyone but Yuma. I'd wait for him as long as I had to.

Please come back. I love you.

I stared at the message before selecting the entire body of text and hitting 'delete.' I turned the computer off and closed my eyes.

Miku and the others had been trying to get me to move on. They wanted me to leave Yuma behind, but I couldn't. They introduced me to other guys, but I never let myself fall for anyone.