Come Bother Me , Baby .

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Xavier Moretti

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Xavier Moretti

I felt nervous under his stare . Intimidated even . He was strong , tall , and fearing . Everyone feared him . Well everyone but me . He held the most power in Italy , there was absolutely no denying that . But even power and money can make you lonely .

For weeks now , it had been nothing but arguing and bickering . My feelings were hurt and he didn't care . But i mean what do you expect coming from the Italian Mafia Leader . He wasn't one to love , or be loved . But yet he wanted me . We had come to an agreement , i live with him for a year . And if i still hate him i can leave , but if i love him i'm his forever .

Part of me didn't mind the thought of being with Xavier forever . But then again he wasn't one to love and i couldn't force it . Even after all the meaningless date nights he didn't see me the way i saw him . But i couldn't blame him , he told me from the beginning that i was not to expect love or affection . As much as i craved it , i knew i'd never get it from him .

I had met Xavier almost a year ago now when i had found myself in some trouble with a man who owed him money . When i was on the run Xavier found me . And in order for my protection , i was to marry him and fall in love with him in 365 days . The only problem was i didn't need 365 days . I barely needed half of that . But i'd never tell him that .

I could feel the anger and frustration radiating off of him as we stared at one another in silence after screaming out things we'd both regret tomorrow morning . We may fight and bicker but it had never gotten this bad before . "If i didn't care for you , i wouldn't still protect you ." He said as i stayed in my spot against the wall less than 30ft from him . "You only protect me because of our deal . You don't care for me Xavier ." I whispered nervous to say the wrong thing to him .

"You know what , i'm not doing this with you ." He laughed almost mockingly . "Of course you're not . Because all you do is run when things get hard ." I spat at him before heading up the long spiral stairs . "Run ? I don't run from nothing Tesoro . And you know that ." He said following behind me closely . "whatever X ." I sighed rolling my eyes . I was completely over tonight and him . I was tired of the arguing and the back and forth comments . I just wanted to be happy . And i obviously couldn't do that here .

Shutting and locking the guest bedroom door behind me I sit in the shower with my head laying on my knees replaying every word and every facial expression his face held throughout those words . I knew i wasn't completely in the right but i was over giving love to someone who couldn't give it back . I had sat under the water for a little less than an hour thinking how things would be different if he realized he was lovable and that he could love me back if he opened up his heart to it . But knowing him he'd never do that .

Once i got out i saw a letter laying on the guest room bed that read "Tesoro , Sorry isn't even the word for how bad i feel talking to you the way i did . I know love is real because of you and i'm sorry i can't love you the way you deserve . You may not believe me when i say this but you bother me in the most loving way . That beautiful smile you have bothers me , those beautiful eyes i can read a story from bothers me . But most of all the fact that i love you and don't know how bothers me . Please take this as my apology , i will always protect you even if i have to do it from afar . Love X ."

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