How i feel .

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Rico Santiago

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Rico Santiago .

I used to dream of the day i'd fall in love with the right person and be with them forever . but the man i feel in love with wasn't expected . i was hurting my own feelings expecting him to feel the same way for me .

Rico and i were complicated . We did everything couples did . But he refused to settle down and add a title to it . i was over it and didn't have the energy to fight for something he's not fighting for .

I loved Rico , but loving Rico was hurting my heart . And i couldn't take it anymore . All i wanted was love , a sweet genuine love . that's the one thing this world doesn't have enough of . Love isn't a priority in this generation .

I was sitting alone in my sisters house as she had all our friends over including the boys . except for Rico . i knew why though . I had finally given a man my body , that man being Rico . And it fucked everything up between us .

"Rico not coming ?" Deon asked as he was laid up with Kaila , "i don't know , i haven't heard from dude in like four days" Ray said shrugging his shoulders . i scrolled through my phone listening in the the different conversations going on in the room . the only one reaching my ears involved Rico .

"Y'all wanna go bowling ?" Kaila asked as Ray's front door opened to a high and most likely tipsy Rico . "I'm down" everyone said but me . "actually i gotta get going ." i said grabbing my things as Rico sat down by Ray across the room . "Girl why?" Jeli said whining . "I got something to handle . i'll call y'all in a hour and if y'all still there i'll slide ." i lied right through my teeth . i just couldn't be around Rico right now . I couldn't handle it . and i didn't want to cause a scene .

"let me talk to you real quick" Rico announced standing up , "i don't have time right now maybe later" i said rushing out the door slamming it behind me .

I had sped off seeing Rico stand outside Rays door , i'm sure he was mad , but i didn't care . my feelings were hurt . how could you say such passionate loving things to me then act the complete opposite the next day . i wasn't going to let anyone hurt my feelings . not even if i loved him .

By the time i made it home my phone had all these texts and calls from Rico , some good some bad . Rico was crazy , so his anger issues were bad . If he was mad his words could hurt if he wanted them to .

Rico : You must like playing wit me
Rico : answer yo phone
Rico : When i see you ima fuck yo ass up
Rico : you don't miss me baby?

it went on and on . he was so two sided . it confused me sometimes . texting him back i turn my phone off not wanting to talk to him . I was honest with him when i texted him back . i mean let's be honest he hasn't talked to me since our argument . and he avoided me for days after we slept together .

Thinking that liquor would help me forget about him and the situation was my biggest mistake . it made me think about it more and how much i wish shit could be good between us . and we could be together .

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