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Have you ever felt hating something that you really love? It is a painful feeling. But how about vice versa? Loving something that you REALLY hate. Kakaiba diba?

Gender: Male

When I was in Pre-school and Elementary, I never tried to play any sports. I don't like moving around. I prefer simple games, games that only uses intellect, the ones that does not drain stamina. But one time, meron akong kaklase na parang gustong-gusto ng mommy ko. Hindi naman yung klaseng parang in-love. It's just like this, parang yung kaklase ko, gusto ng mommy ko na maging best friend ko. Wla pa talaga kasi ako best friend hanggang ngayon. Maging kapatid nga, wla ako eh. Kaya biro pa nga ng mommy ko sa kaklase ko, "Gusto mo, ampunin na lang kita?". Grabe diba? OA eh pano naman, maputi, maliit, singkit, para bang chibi. Pero parang hindi ako masyadong comfortable, kasi parang pilit lang. Pero habang tumatagal, nakaka-adjust na ko. So I like him TO BE my Best Friend. But I know different persons had their own definition of a best friend. Kasi naman hindi namang ginagawang deal ang pagiging mag-best friend na parang yung tipong "best friend na tayo ha?". Parang ang gara, ganun kagad. Ginagawang deal? Then when we were in Grade 6, I am amazed. Naglalaro yung kaklase ko ng basketball. Puro three-pointers, puro ringless, parang precision machine. Eh 5 inches pa naman difference ng height namin, hanggang balikat ko lang siya eh. Ngayon nga 5'5"" na kong 1st year college, isipin nyo kung grade 6 pa lang ako kung ano height ko. Tapos yun nga, as in a 5 inches difference.Pero at the same time na na-a-amaze ako sa kanya. May naramdaman akong inggit. Kasi minsan, tinatanong ako ng iba pa naming classmate kung bakit hindi raw ako maglaro. Wla ako masagot noon. Pero parang nakita ko sa mata nila, ay! Mali pala, naramdaman ko sa actions nila na parang sinasabi nilang mahina ako, na wala akong kayang gawin. And that time, as summer comes, I decided to play basketball because of hatred. I want to prove that I'm strong so I practice jump shots whenever I want. Wla pa kong sakit noon. Pero nung mag-high school, nalungkot ako kasi hindi ako makapaglalaro sa intrams namin due to Pneumonia and Minimal PTB. Minimal PTB is Minimal Tuberculosis, pero don't worry, dahil minimal lang, hindi naman ako nag-uubo ng dugo or something na rare. Siya nga pala, I switched schools when I become a high schooler. So hindi ko na kaklase yung taong hinangaan ko. Pagdating ng 2nd year HS wla na. Pero may pumalit naman, it is called a partial complex seizure, search nyo na lang sa google kahit sa wikipedia na lang. So dahil dun, hindi pa rin ako nakapaglaro, and then 3rd year, medyo nagdecrease yung seizure, naging focal seizure na lang. Kaso medication is under two years, kaya pati 4th year ki affected. Pero na-release din naman ako sa seizure bago kami mag-intrams nang 4th year. But ayaw ng directress namin pati na rin principal kahit ok na sa mommy ko. So ayun, sayang na-break ko yung promise ko na maglalaro ako sa intrams pagdating ng 4th year. Kaya kayo, if I were you, NEVER make promises. Because sometimes sudden events are the ones that will break those promises. Pero kapag drills lang like shooting, nagagawa ko. Pero kapag whole court never, saka mga official game, never din. Pero at least kahit drills like shooting nagagawa ko, naaalala nila ko sa accurate ng shooting ko. Pero kahit para sakin hindi. Sadyang coincidence lang na mas mataas ang score ko sa mga classmates ko that time. Pero after those 4 years that passed, I forgot the reason why I played basketball. But when I am now in college. Yung bwisit kong sakit, bumalik na naman, that thing called ""seizure"". I don't want it so badly. The problem now is mas malala na yung mga kaklase ko ngayon, they are full of ""Argh, i dont know what to say"" lalo tuloy ako nabibwisit pag naaalala ko. Di ko madescribe yung mga blockmates ko ngayon, siguro ang mapangdedescribe ko sa kanila is the 13 Foul Words/Bad words. Oo as in 13, kung sobra man sa 13, shortcut lang yung ibang sinabi nyo or pinalitan lang yung mga last letters para kunwari hindi bad words. So those blockmates of mine made me remember the reason why I started basketball. I hate it, those memories, I hate it. Pero nagustuhan ko na ang basketball. Ang gusto ko lang ang mapatunayan na malakas ako at hindi lang ang utak ko kundi pati katawan. I want to prove that I'm strong. It's not because I can't do it, but it's because I'm avoiding to do it, kasi kapag ginawa ko kagad yun, hindi ko na yun magagawa sa future. My hatred is so worst (NOTE:kung mga negative ang gagamitin, it is better to use worst than great. Iba kasi sinasabi, great hatred. What's great about hatred? Right? I hate this hatred if mine). Hindi namin kasi mga blockmates ang mga former classmates ko may kasalanan eh, and hindi rin ako. Yung mag actions talaga eh. Pero pumasok sa isip ko, ""Actions can be forgiven, but NOT forgotten"". Kaya ngayon laging nasa isip ko pag I'm in the world of hatred. ""Hatred/Anger is either negative or positive"". If you're angry that someone does a bad act, that is positive. But if you are angry at no reason and angry at good acts, that is negative, that anger is the so-called wrath. It is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

Sloth - Pagkabatugan
Wrath - Negatibong galit
Pride - No need to describe, pero as far as I know, ito pinakamalalang sin ng mga babae. Even low ang degree or walang sila nang iba pang sin, ito karaniwan ang pinakamalalang sin ng karamihan nga babae. Hindi lahat. Don't worry, girls, sasabihin ko rin naman yung sa lalaki eh.
Gluttony - Katakawan or excessive desire for money, body pleasure, especiall to food.
Greed - Kasakiman o Ganid.
Envy - it is really one of the seven deadly sins. Inggit ka kung ano meron ang iba. You don't know then what is satisfaction and appreciation. Na-experience ko na ito.
Lust - Mostly, ito ang pinakamalalang kasalanan ng karamihan ng lalaki, hindi lahat. Sinadya kong i-huli, save the worst for the last. Lust is last. Forbidden.

these seven deadly sins are the root sins of other sins. these sins are pandora's box.

And then I'll continue to what I just typed a while ago, keep this in your mind, heart, soul, and body.
""Never blame persons for a bad act including yourself. You and them have nothing to do with it. Instead, blame the actions. If you still can't, then blame the temptation that cause them to do those actions. kapag hindi nyo pa rin magawa, Last na to! Blame the demons. Kapag hindi nyo kayang sisihin ang demons, naku po! Sila ang origin ng temptations. Pag hindi nyo masisi ang demons, may problema na kayo.

Kaya naman ngayon, back to the plot after giving moral lessons and lectures, I play basketball because I love it and NOT because I hate it.

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Another story ulit.
Naranasan nyo na magkaron ng gusto sa 2 tao ng sabay. Forbidden ba? Mahirap na? lalo na kung nadagdagan pa? Eh pano kung yung dumagdag, pareho kayo ng gender? Oh, this guy's in love with you pare.

This event happens when I'm in 4th year HS. Dalawa yung girl na gusto ko nun. Hoy! Mga readers, hindi pa to sparks. saka hindi rin ako playboy. Hindi masama magkagusto sa 2 girls nang sabay maliban na lang kung lalagpas nang linya pareho. You can like them both, but not love them both. Yung isa, na medyo weird ang feeling ko buhat nung 1st year kami pero we're exactly different so karaniwan, puro arguments. Ehem...wag nyong sabihin LQ. Kami ba? Kami ba? Grabe mga readers natin ah. pero mas nagiging weird feeling ko pag sinasabi nyong LQ. And then the 2nd one is a chatmate, we're halfly the same, have some interests that are the same. Saka kahit chatmates lang kami, nabibigyan nya ko ng advice kapag nagtatanong ako sa kanya ng mga deep questions na galing pa sa core ng earth. May mga nagsasabi sakin minsan na deep thinker daw ako. Seryoso? And then may nakilala ako na 1st year HS boy sa school namin. Ay naku! Ang kulet! Ang daldal parang ewan. Pero ayos naman kasama, lumalabas tuloy yung maingay na part ng sarili ko. Asar eh, nasa peaceful world na ko. dadalhin pa ko sa mundo ng gulo, kasi kahit 5 seconds, di kayang manahimik. And eto na! naku po! Mukang tama ang hula nyo! May sparks na? Oh no! Wag sana, di ko kaya. I'm not boy, I'm a MAN, I'm a MALE, I'm a MASCULINE. OA ba? Nagmumukha tuloy akong defensive noh? Pano ba naman,ang galing magdrawing. Saka meron siya ng characteristics na gusto ko. sige pa mga readers, kayanin nyo to, don't worry palalayain ko rin kayo sa hirap ko. Kamukha daw siya ni Kiefer Ravena pag malayo, mag 60 km haha. And then height nya, hanggang shoulder ko lang. 5 inches difference. I'm 5'5"", he's 5 feet sharp. And then isang beses, napunta na ko sa inner world, the world of reflections. Ang mga sinabi ko palang characteristics na gusto ko is NOT about sparks BUT a BEST FRIEND or a person-like-a-brother. Kaya ayun, nakalaya ako, kala ko matutuluyan na kong maging bakla, buti na lang yun pala hanap ko, a best friend or a person-like-a-brother. Grabe, muntik na kong hindi makahinga. Ano? Readers? Nakalayo na kayo? Wag na kayo, magbigay ng plot twist. Nagplot twist na nga sa bandang huli. E-epal pa eh. Haha!

Vyen, Slut, Drege, Lhost, Dreip, Rhawt, and Tonylgut 
2019 
Faculty of Engineering

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