♡
I used to have this thought in the back of my head when I was in primary (elementary) school that always persisted in my mind every time I saw pictures of models or actresses on television and in magazines: If everyone was beautiful, why wasn't I? I'm sure that I wouldn't be the only one who's ever looked at herself in the mirror and wished they could fix certain aspects of themselves; for me, though fleetingly, it was my skin color.
It wasn't hard to see why: my surroundings were primarily White (as I lived in the suburbs), most of my school friends were pale of skin and so were the majority of the characters I watched on the television. Of course, as a small child, it had never bothered me that much since my understanding of minorities and privileged individuals was not completely developed. Still, I knew that having dark skin was regarded as 'uglier' or 'less attractive' then light skin even at the delicate age of four.
One of my first experience with discrimination against my race was in kindergarten when a kid had called me a piece of poop. Sure, we were very young, but it was the intent behind it that shocked me; the kid really wanted to wound my feelings with those words. I told the nearest teacher what had happened and justice was rightfully served, but I never forgot that incident.
However, this did not stop certain teachers/educators from doing the similar things; stereotypical comments about my skin, diet and personality often left me confused at why I was asked different questions about myself then the type they asked 'non-ethnic' students. When they assumed I was African, I had to correct them and say that I was born in Canada and that my parents had immigrated at a very young age from Haiti. When they asked me why my hair was oilier and kinkier than theirs, I just said that I inherited it from my parents.
The first representation I got from the media of a Black woman was Tiana from the Disney movie 'The Princess And The Frog'. I remember being so excited when going to see it in theaters with my oblivious little sister. It's only now that I recognize that, looking back, this one film impacted my infancy forever.
As I grew up, I started to realize how the world perceived me and all those who looked like me. For some, my skin color didn't change anything; the two childhood 'boyfriends' I had were themselves White and biracial (olive-skinned), my friend groups were usually very multiracial and even the first person to have ever asked me out for a date was a White boy. For others, being Black, specifically dark-skinned, holds a negative connotation; even today, I still see instances of colorism within and outside the Black community, skin-bleaching being glorified in countries like India and Nigeria and people perpetuating harmful stereotypes about Black women being 'ghetto' and 'aggressive'.
The general assumption that all Black females are loud, curvaceous, angry and hyper-sexually promiscuous always bothered me; I myself am more introverted, academically-oriented, soft-spoken and skinny. There is also the double-standard that Black men are way less criticized for dating outside their race then Black women (like Zendaya and Jacob Elordi). People seem to forget that, just like any other race, we come in all different shapes and sizes as well as unique personalities and passions. There is no one way of 'acting/speaking Black'; my whole family is bilingual and we speak English with a slight French-Canadian twang, yet that doesn't make us any less Black than an African-American family who have a southern accent.
Yes, all beauty matters, but I cannot emphasize enough on how Black beauty matters. I do not wish to be fetishized because of my skin and all of the degrading books on Wattpad that describe us as nothing other than 'chocolate' objects are not helping the cause. Dark-skinned and light-skinned Black girls are all so amazing in their own way. You don't have to be stubborn and constantly courageous; we all have our weak moments. Even if you've never actually had a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner before, don't blame your gorgeous, melanated skin.
Black is truly beautiful.
♡
Glossary
Visible minority: In Canada (and I quote), "visible minority refers to whether a person belongs to a visible minority group as defined by the Employment Equity Act and, if so, the visible minority group to which the person belongs. The Employment Equity Act defines visible minorities as "persons, other than Aboriginal peoples, who are non-Caucasian in race or non-white in colour". The visible minority population consists mainly of the following groups: South Asian, Chinese, Black, Filipino, Latin American, Arab, Southeast Asian, West Asian, Korean and Japanese."
White privilege: "[It is] the societal privilege that benefits white people over non-white people in some societies, particularly if they are otherwise under the same social, political, or economic circumstances."
Discrimination: "The unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex."
Race: "A race is a grouping of humans based on shared physical or social qualities into categories generally viewed as distinct by society. The term was first used to refer to speakers of a common language and then to denote national affiliations." (Historically, racial classification erupted from colonialism which separated people into the following categories: White, Black, Yellow, Red and Brown. Note that even in today's society, several individuals still use this method to generally identify people.)
Racial stereotypes: "[It] is a system of beliefs about [often negative] characteristics of members of a given ethnic group or nationality, their status, society and cultural norms." (Afro-American stereotypes include but are not limited to 'the Mammy', 'Uncle Tom', 'the Mandingo', 'the Sapphire', 'the Jezebel', 'the Tragic Mulatta', 'the Coon or N*gger', 'the watermelon stereotype', 'the fried chicken stereotype' and 'the crack addict/drug dealer stereotype')
Ethnicity: "[It] is a category of people who identify with each other, usually on the basis of presumed similarities such as a common language, ancestry, history, society, culture, nation, religion, race or social treatment within their residing area." (For example, my ethnicity is Haitian-Canadian.)
Colorism: "Prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group."
Acting/Speaking 'Black': The common misconception that Afro-American/Black Canadian people all possess the same way of speaking (African-American Vernacular English or 'blaccent') and all have the same mannerisms.
Fetish: "A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc." (Please do not confuse this with 'dating preferences' because it is a whole other thing to only be interested in tall people vs a specific race for their supposed sexual capabilities or sex appeal.)
♡
Hope you enjoyed my little rant and if you wish to be further educated on Black/poc matters, here are a few references: