Hello everybody! Hope you're having a good day! Today we will be talking about speaking up for yourself. If any of you are introverts like me, you'll probably relate to this.
Have you ever been in a situation where you're talking to someone and they assume the wrong thing about what you're saying and you don't have the heart to correct them? Well, that happened to me yesterday. See, for me, I'm just scared of hurting someone's feelings.
But it's important to speak up, and tell the truth. Because when they do figure it out, that'll be really awkward since they'll realize you didn't correct them. I have been stuck in this situation many times, and it is not very fun.
There are other times that you should speak up too.
For example, you find out that your best friend is lying to you. Talk to them and confront them about their actions. You deserve to know what the truth is. Don't ignore the truth and pretend you don't know you're being lied to. Another thing not to do is avoiding confrontation because you feel bad that you found out. I have done the last two things, and believe me, it's horrible. It's better to get closure, even if it's painful, than to be in denial.
Last year, in May, I found out something very important. For a long time that year, I had noticed that my best friend, let's call her Sophia, hasn't been talking to me very much. We sort of drifted apart. There was a reason for it that I found out later, but in the moment I wondered why I wasn't good enough.
You see, over the course of the year, I had noticed my friend group showing up to school wearing sweatshirts with all of their names on the back, except for mine, and wearing the same type of bracelet. Coincidence? I think not.
I never confronted Sophia about it, which looking back now, I realize I should have. Instead, I stayed in a state of denial. All of the pieces came together in April. I figured out the puzzle in May.
So I figured out that Sophia was deliberately lying to me about being invited to parties and going, ones that I wasn't invited to. But there's more to it. Her own sister ratted her out to me.
In the spring, I played lacrosse, and Sophia and her sister were on the team. On the day of our last game, Sophia showed up to school and told me that she forgot her lacrosse stuff, yet her sister had her stuff. I didn't fall for the lie, but she looked so desperate for me to believe her that I let it go. The thing I should have done was forced the truth out of her.
Later that day, before the game, I walked with Sophia's sister to the bus. Being curious, I asked her if Sophia actually forgot her things. Well, it turns out Sophia was hanging out with another girl, who I knew, instead of playing in our lacrosse game. So now that the truth was out in the open, I wondered about more.
I asked about the sweatshirts and bracelets and Sophia's sister said that Sophia didn't want to hurt my feelings. Heh. She also asked me not to tell Sophia that she told me the truth. I haven't broken that promise, and it's almost been a year.
Side note, which adds to the story: I was partnered with one of Sophia's friends for Science Fair, and we spent a lot of time together. At State Science Fair, I found out that in sixth grade, this girl invited Sophia to a Taylor Swift concert. I asked her why she didn't invite me, and she said that she didn't know me that well. She didn't know Sophia either! I didn't say anything, though. I should have blown up at her.
Also, that girl told me that she, Sophia, and the girl that Sophia ditched me for that lacrosse game agreed not to wear the sweatshirts because they didn't want to make me feel bad. That girl also didn't invite me to her birthday party. That's all for that small addition to the story.
I had made up my mind. I was going to talk to Sophia. But of course, something got in my way. In late May, I found out that Sophia's family was moving to Spain for a year. I was the last one to know, and I was her so-called "best friend". She told people she wasn't even close with that she was leaving. My mom knew she was leaving, but didn't tell me because she wanted Sophia to. Eventually, my mom told me after she realized Sophia was never going to tell me.
There I was, a pathetic seventh grader who had just found out that everyone she knew was lying to her. And you know what I did? I didn't even get mad. I just kept being nice to Sophia because she was leaving, and I didn't want her to leave while on bad terms with me. It killed me to smile at her and talk as if I didn't know she had been lying to me since sixth grade.
Sophia left over the summer. I never said goodbye because I was away at camp. But I wasn't okay. Everything that happened with Sophia took a toll on me mentally.
In July, I began having suicidal thoughts. Every day for three weeks at camp, in the morning I would think "Today's the day. I'll kill myself. No one will care." I am grateful that I never went through with that.
On the last night of camp, we had closing ceremonies. Lo and behold, I won best campers in my cabin because I channeled my depression into kindness and helping others. My camp friends said somebody else should have won it.
Anyway, that's the story. Sophia still doesn't know that I know that she knows that she lied. That didn't make sense at all. But there is a way to prevent this from happening to you.
Speak up! Stand up for yourself and say "I deserve better." Because you deserve a better friend than Sophia, like I do. You shouldn't be afraid of hurting someone because being hurt by lying hurts more than any other emotional pain. Take it from me, it sucks. And I hated every minute of going through it. If it hurts you more, then walk away. Cut off that toxic friendship.
I did. I never texted her back. It's too hard. A part of me is still mad and sad about what happened. It really doesn't help if your mom takes the other person's side. Ignore the people who don't believe you. I do. Those you don't choose you don't matter.
This was supposed to be a happy, positive chapter, but it turned into the depressing story of my failed friendship. If you've ever gone through something like this, I hope you feel better now and know that you deserve a friend better than one who constantly lies.
I love you all! Stay strong ❤️❤️❤️
-Annie ❤️