All of us have a dream and when you have a dream you have people who always tell you to give up on them.
I gave up on a dream because of what others told me I still regret my decision but I cant come to a point in my life where I could adopt the dream again, I was very persistent on my dream I literally decided everything and giving up on it was very hard it was traumatizing because it wasn't just a dream, it was a childhood dream something I've been thinking about from more then 6 years and out of no where I had to give up on it.
The story:
When I was younger I used to despise the thought of becoming a doctor because when ever I heard someone saying that "I wanna be a doctor when I grow up" I would just make the most stupid face possible, not that I hated the profession but what I hated was that everyone wanna be just this one thing as if there was nothing better then being a doctor,back then I didn't know what amazing things doctors did..................well fast forward my family always used to say that they want me and my other cousins to become doctors but why they wanted us to be doctors was not because they wanted us to help other oh no! They just wanted us to earn alot of money.
By family I don't mean my parents and siblings, I mean my aunts,uncles and my grandparents and me being my stubborn self always hated this "Be a Doctor" talk.
At the time me and my cousin used to draw alot and we either used to draw houses or dresses as time passed we stopped drawing houses and just used to draw dresses another cousin of mine was becoming a fashion designer at the time and watching his huge brushes and Solid white canvas I used to get so astonished and as a little time passed me and my cousin decided we are gonna be fashion designers we decided what we are gonna name our brand, we used to fantasies our cat walks, I used to show her all those amazing Paris fashion shows and both of us used to get so inspired by that we were almost 6 years old at the time when we decided to become fashion designers everyone used to support us at that time but when they saw that this dream of ours is growing more and more they started talking bad about fashion designers and even about my cousin who was becoming a designer just because they wanted us to be doctors,
my parents used to support me because I made it clear to them that I want to be a fashion designer and thats it! but then on that one unfortunate day I was at my aunts place our whole family was having a get together and they all started asking all the kids what they wanna be when we grow up I was 12 at the time and my cousin was 10 we we're really young, some of my cousins said Engineer,Doctor,Teacher and then it was me, I whole heatedly stood up and proudly said that I wanna be a fashion designer and everyone just went quiet and then my aunt asked me "Are you serious about this?" With a expression of disgust on her face and they started telling me how bad fashion designing is how bad the field is and I was already going through a bad time at the moment and then all of my family giving me looks of disgust and worry made my mind go crazy my aunts literally swear at fashion designers her negative words were giving me mental torture I didn't know what to say my cousin went outside so that no body could point on her that she also wanna be a designer, after a minute or two when they stopped talking about being a designer they started telling me to be a doctor because it PAYS you very well I just stood there listening to them and then went to the bathroom I had a major breakdown in the bathroom and it wasn't in just there bathroom, when I came back hope I went into my room locked it and went into my bathroom and cried like a baby this was the first time I cried so much I felt my heart being broken into pieces I couldn't stop crying but I didn't want anyone to know I was crying after almost half an hour I opened my rooms door and went outside having a smile on my face and that moment I decided that I won't be a fashion designer it was the moment I gave up on my biggest dream.
What I learned:
It was very hard for me to get over my dream of becoming a fashion designer but at last I did!and because I was a born dreamer I had to make a new dream a new dream that I'll try to make true. I learned alot about depression and mental health in the time and I found about psychiatrists and psychologists the thought of helping others with mental health was so beautiful and that is also a reason why a joined SGC.
Giving up on my dream of fashion designing made me take a look at other professions like psychology and if I wouldn't have gave up on that dream I wouldn't have found my interest in writing and psychology I gave up on one dream but I made another one, I know it takes alot of time to come back to life after a breakdown but at the end we have to come back I did gave up on one dream but I never stopped dreaming and that's what I want you guys to do as well you can take a break but you can never forget to dream you can never stop to dream.
Haly~