CHAPTER 46
Jeon Jungkook
World Tour departure day used to be an event that Jungkook looked forward to. It was the day he starts traveling 7 countries for months with all six of his brothers along with the family they created at work. Their World Tour departure was once the brightest day he was most excited to come, but now it became the day he was dreading the most.
He should be on their private jet to Los Angeles yet he was outside the Hwangyeon Hospital, the largest most prestigious one in Seoul where Areum worked as he waited for her to come out of her first surgery after the 7-month break given to her.
It was late so she wouldn't drive and would've already called a ride to their home in Itaewon. He wanted to know how her first-surgery back went although he was certain she was able to pull it off without a struggle. Deep inside, he just wanted to see her one last time before he chased after his dreams again.
There weren't many cars and people that time of the night in the Hospital, and he hasn't been being followed since the stunt Areum pulled off a couple months ago. The members were happily living their private lives for a while until they had to leave for tour.
Areum usually clocked out before 2 in the morning being the latest, and just as usual, she stepped out of the Hospital a minute after the clock strikes 2.
She kept a low gaze on the ground as she waited for the ride she must've booked.
Jungkook decided to approach her but another figure stepped in beside her. A frown formed his lips upon getting a good look at the man beside his soon-to-be-wife and how relieved she was when she looked up and saw who approached her first.
"Seung Jae-ah," she breathed out with a small smile.
Areum never addressed him by his first name until now.
"Chukahae," Seung Jae spoke as he gazed at her with genuine admiration. Hearing how he congratulated her with such an endearing voice, it was evident that Areum did perform her first surgery well.
[ Chu•ka•hae : 축하해 = Congrats, Congratulations (informal) ]
Jungkook clenched his jaw and fists as he stayed on the sidelines. He wanted to cut in, take what was his and stop other men looking at her the way Seung Jae does. He wanted him to stop looking at her like how Jungkook himself often looks at her—like he'd give her the moon if he could.
"Lee Seung Jae." she muttered as she looked up at him once more.
Her voice was not dismissive nor cold, it was more tired and longing.
Seung Jae lost the smile on his lips as he studied her face. His eyes quivered and his hands gently moved towards her face as he hesitantly glanced at her for permission but before he could even touch her, Jungkook interfered protectively.
"Song Areum." He called with a firm tone, his eyes set cold towards Seung Jae.
Areum slowly turned to face him, relief washed over her face before it was replaced with confusion.
"Jeon Jungkook," she turned on her heels and walked towards him. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Jungkook remained stiff as he sent a stern glare in Seung Jae's direction while the man sent just as intense of an impression to him, as if none of them was going to give up competing. There was no competition though. Areum will officially be Jungkook's other half by law sooner than anyone was expecting. She'll be his wife eventually.
Warm and soft hands gently cupped his cheeks and all of a sudden he was back in reality. Areum was his. Lee Seung Jae was just merely her colleague—or was he?
Nonetheless, Jungkook was the one she loved.
"Hey, you missed your flight." she muttered with deep concern.
Jungkook finally broke gazes with Seung Jae and leaned down to kiss her on the lips. "I wanted to know how your first surgery went."
She lost all the colors on her face as she took a small step back from him.
"You could've just called, you didn't have to miss your flight."
He furrowed his eyebrows as she avoided his gaze.
"I didn't want to leave with just one goodbye. I needed to see you,"
What he meant was, he couldn't bring himself to leave her.
"Areum," another deep voice called and she turned eagerly towards it.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Seung Jae stated warmly with longing in his eyes.
She nodded softly and waved her hand slightly. "Get home safe, sunbae."
He studied her for a moment before finally giving her one last smile and headed out the opposite way to leave. That's right, leave—Jungkook thought to himself.
"Should I give you a ride to the airport?" Areum asked weakly.
Jungkook frowned at her, "What's wrong?"
She let out a sigh and managed to look back up at him with pained expression.
"I think I would kill for you." she confessed.
He gave her a confused look. She didn't look well. She looked more sick now than she ever was when she first got out if coma, he wondered if she ate well and took her maintenance meds earlier.
"I almost killed my patient today."
Their gazes met and melted away as they saw each other's souls through their eyes—both were wounded but alive.
"Park Eun Ji." she stated. "Do you remember her?"
Jungkook frowned in perplexity because he couldn't remember. He looked at her with furrowed eyebrows, considering how conflicted she looked, it's got to be serious—so he tried to remember and thought hard and deep that his memories actually went back in the early years of their group debut 15 years ago.
"She was your last girlfriend before you decided the spotlight was the life you wanted to have." she spoke as her eyebrows rested in a thin line. "I heard you promised to marry her when you were younger—God, Jungkook! How many girls did you promise to marry?"
"What? I was young, I said things I didn't mean in the spur of the moment. I—"
Areum cut him off. "I took the tumor out of her head, but while I was doing the surgery on her—while I was doing my job, all I could think of. . . was her life in my hands." Areum conceded with a trembling voice. "That time, I owned her survival and I—I didn't want to give it to her. I was willing to lose my job, my years of hard work and my license because I disliked her so much I couldn't think of anything else."
She stepped closer to him and fist the sweater he was wearing against his chest. "I fixed her when I can't even fix myself. I'm broken. I'm crumbling down slowly,"
He pulled her into a tight embrace, hearts beating fast and tender against each other's chest. "You save lives, Areum. That's what you do and you saved her anyway, that's all that matters."
"I didn't want to though. Saving her was the last thing I wanted to do," she said. "How could I hate someone I just met? I understood she was your ex-girlfriend from a very long time ago but I still resented her. I'll always hate people you dated before me and that is so wrong. You keep convincing me I am good but why the fuck have I never felt like I've been a good person ever my entire life? Fuck's sake, I was willing to kill—"
She stopped briefly to catch her breath but her body was trembling all over. "There is something seriously wrong with me—and it was bigger than I could handle, it was far greater than you and I could overcome."
Areum has gotten used to saying things she'd soon regret whenever she was upset. It was something she had been working on with all the therapy and meditation sessions with a professional. Jungkook knew she didn't meant the last thing she said because they've been through a lot together and one or two episodes of her break down wasn't enough to make him run away easily.
He lets out a sigh and gently stroked the back of her head as she became calmer in his arms.
"I'm sorry, baby." he whispered and left a kiss on top of her head and he hugged her tighter.
"I spent half of my life learning how to save lives but never about how to actually live." she pushed him gently. "I'm still a little messed up in the head. I can't start a new life with this mindset."
"Okay, then we'll fix it together. Just like always, you and I." he convinced her and tried to pull her in once more when she pressed a hand on his chest to stop him.
"It's something I need to do alone." she informed him with a broken soul. "I need to recuperate. I've gotten soft and warm because of you. I wanted my strength back,"
His jaw tightened and his arms instantly left her small figure. He regretted letting go of her but she didn't look like he needed his warmth that moment.
"I never changed you, Areum." he pointed out. "That was the real you. You're soft and warm on the inside, you just never want to admit it."
She squeezed her eyes shut impatiently. "If I was strong as before, the only reason I would've saved her was because I didn't want to lose my job and that's it but tonight, I saved someone I disliked because I felt bad for her. I wanted to save her because it's the right thing to do and now my old self —the one that's passive and whose life I've lived for years was pestering me in the back of my head for doing something good," she looked at him straight in the eyes, "I'm completely torn between being good or bad. I either feel bad for thinking about killing her or I feel angry for saving her."
"I'm neither an angel nor a monster. I'm just indifferent and passive, I like being bad and numb. I think better when I'm like that. I'm a better doctor when I was like that," Areum confessed.
"You're an excellent doctor because you're you. Like you said, you're neither bad nor good. You're never in between, so you can be warm and cold—just not at the same time." he tried to reason out. "You may have strong urges to hurt people but you are good too, Areum."
Her lips was pressed into a thin line as she glared at him. What she did next broke him beyond words and for a second, he wished he hadn't witnessed how bad she could be.
Areum eyed her engagement ring and fiddled with it but never took it off.
"I shouldn't have forced you to give this back,"
He couldn't look at her. She was just trying to prove him that she was anything but good.
"Doctor Kim talked to us about this," Jungkook murmured. "He said, there'd be times you'd act irrationally from all the medicines and shots but you'd eventually go back to reality,"
"You've got to take this ring back and break up with me," Areum said anyway.
Nonsense, he thought. Jungkook finally looked up at her and kept a stern glare right into her eyes.
"You're not returning that ring the second time around." he stated. "And I'm certainly not breaking up with you."
She glared at him but her gaze was already quivering as tears pooled her eyes. Jungkook took her hand and tangled his fingers on hers so she couldn't fight him anymore.
"You never learn, do you?" he asked her. "We were never happy apart. Eventually, we'll find our way back together. So, no. I'm still marrying you because I know you love me as much as I love you."
He then pulled her closer, encircled his arms around her small waist and kissed her lips. At first it was soft and then it was rough until she kissed him back before pulling away.
"I'll wait." he told her as soon as their lips parted but only a little more than an inch apart. "Take all the time you need to heal. I'll marry you as soon as you're ready."
He tightened her grip around her. "You're not breaking up with me because of some old flings I've had in the past. We are better than that. You are better than that,"