Smoke and Bones (Smoke #4)

[ 32 ]

The harder I stared at the mirror in front of me, the harder it was to recognise who was meant to be there. Even with the excitement one of the girls tried to get me to embody or even the encouragement from Jordanah, nothing seemed to rid the feeling of failure.

Looking at wedding dresses, looking at potential venues or thinking about the guests that could be there, I couldn't help but to feel overwhelmed about everything. No matter what, there was always something that felt different.

It's just nerves. Nerves, and the fear of the unknown as to the reason to my strange outlook on the impending day. According to Rudi that is, and Jordanah, who once again blamed the way I was feeling on Zaine's conspiracy theories.

Pushing aside current feelings, I began to ponder what life with Andrew would actually be like. But no matter what way I tried to conjure up a narrative in my mind, it all felt somewhat blurred.

I let out a sigh and turned my attention away from the mirror before walking out of the bathroom and towards the bedroom, stopping short of the doorway.

Andrew had already fallen asleep following our day looking at the venue. Although he said he wasn't annoyed by overhearing Jordanah's tale of my rendezvous, there was a part of me that knew he was lying. I didn't need him to say anything.

In his mind, my ex had taken up the position of Charlie. In his mind, the story went that Jordanah had walked in on Marcus and myself because of course there was always that planted seed of insecurity that I was going to go back into his arms.

The seed had been planted ever since the rescue mission all those months ago, as hinted by Cale. And his admission was made slightly more clearer by the discomfort shown towards Jordanah's comment.

I wrapped my arms together and stood still for a moment, taking in the young man at peace as he slept in his bed. Night had fallen as it was drawing close to 12 and yet I was struggling to fall asleep.

Typical.

Taking in a few more moments of Andrew sleeping, I decided to move away from the doorway and reached over for the key on the table. As quiet as I could, I closed door behind me and locked it, wanting to clear my mind outside.

Wearing my pjaymas, which I know for a fact couple of the bulldog girls would bag me for, I kept a brave face and walked downstairs to the ground level. Yeah, not the brightest idea considering that it was late hours into the night and I was a woman. But for some reason, I decided to go down anyway.

As I eventually made my way to ground level, I paused and looked around the darkness, wanting to take everything in.

"I'm not interrupting anything?" Aarohi's voice emerged from behind, as I turned to face the police officer clearly dressed in off duty clothes.

"Not really. Just needed to clear my head."

"At this hour of the night?"

"It's been a long day Aarohi." I tensely added, unsure what she was doing at the apartment complex. "Although, I could ask you the same thing too considering I usually see you in daylight with uniform."

"I've been wanting to speak with you, but things at the office have been hectic. Have you got a moment?" She asked, causing me to shrug my shoulders.

"That depends. As an officer or as a friend?"

"Perhaps both. Depends on what answers you give me."

"If this about Marcus, I've given you everything I know about the rescue. I'm pretty sure the other people who went with me already gave their statements too -"