Piper kept her tongue on the floor and I layed down next to her and Nicky;
"You know Pipes, we got some more whiskey in the cabinet. You don't have to lick it off the floor."
"I'm just taing to ake ure it's all one o he ly doen't ge drunk.", she mumbled while keeping her tongue streched out.
"What?!", I said and pulled her off the floor.
"She said, she's just making sure it's all gone so the fly doesn't get drunk.", Nicky said.
"What...How..how did you get all of that?!", I looked at her and couldn't be more confused.
"What can I say? I've been ,uh, dealing with junkies all my life, fuck, uh, I've even been one myself.", she chuckled.
"Yeah, maybe you're right. Did you know that flies can taste with their feet? So basically if it steps in the whiskey on the floor, it will be drunk. And did you know flies can see behind them? And another interasting fact; male house flies are constantly looking for a date.", Piper said.
"Fuck, you're a know-it-all even when you're high on drugs!", Nicky rolled her eyes.
"I think your spirit animal is a fly, Nichols. You know, constantly looking for a date?",
I teased Nicky.
"Holy shit, you're right!", she laughed.
"Okay, are you done freaking out over the fly getting drunk thing?", I looked at Piper.
She looked at me with a poker face and I hoped her obsession had passed. But I was wrong.
"No! I just realized it can get drunk just by stepping in it! And it's everywhere!"
"Uh, okay, Chapman. You need to calm the fuck down."
"Pipes, really--",
Nicky interrupted me;
"I got this, Vause. I happen to have experience in this type of things. Anyway Piper, you know that rabbit with six legs and a purple carrot?"
"What about it?"
"Well, I just happen to know that it has six legs for a reason. And that reason is, that it can mop any floors in one second, just by dancing around the dirty spot. So uh, you have nothing to worry about. The rabbit will take care of it. Alright?"
"But it told me that it's furr gets sticky if it does that."
"Uh, it told you that, uh? Well, that's what the carrot is for. It uses the carrot to clean its legs. Okay?"
"But that will make the carrot go all sticky, too!", Piper whined.
YOU ARE READING
It Matters How This Ends
FanfictionFor all OITNB fans, I am sure I am not the only one who didn't like how season 7 ended, so I decided to put matters into my own hands. I wrote about Alex and Piper's life after the prison and what fate had in store for them. The title speaks for its...
