Hiccstrid Oneshots: Book 2

Be Okay

Hi guys! A small angsty oneshot! Happens during RTTE S6, if Astrid's family died. Enjoy!

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It was a month after Astrid's family had died during an attack on Berk. Astrid took her family's death the worst way she could possibly could have.

She pushed everyone away and stayed away from any human or dragon contact. Her friends, especially Hiccup, tried their very very best to help her, but she refused.

Hiccup always went by her door and slipped a plate of food for every meal of the day, even if she didn't say anything back or touch the food.

Every second away from her made his heart ache with pain and concern for her. He knew she wasn't eating and she was keeping all those emotions bottled up inside of her. Astrid couldn't possibly be okay.

She wasn't okay. She wasn't anywhere near okay. The past month, she had been beating herself up about it and blaming herself for their deaths. She scolded herself for not being there, for not saving them, for not being strong enough.

For the whole month, she trued to show that she was strong by resisting the urge to eat. To starve herself because she thought she didn't deserve to live or simply be happy while her family was gone.

It was another miserable day as Astrid sat on her window sill and leaned against the window, staring out at the hills of the Edge. She felt her stomach rumble for food and ignored the pain she felt.

'Be strong, Astrid. Your family died because of your weakness, so be strong.' She told herself, feeling a tear fall down from her baggy eyes. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling her bones stick out from the skin.

She sucked in a breath and shut her eyes tightly, feeling loneliness and depression wash over her. She thought of her family's faces once again, her heart constricting at their scared reactions.

A knock echoed from the door and she sighed softly, knowing exactly who it was. He had always come by her hut, every single morning, with always the same thing.

"Astrid, I-" Hiccup's voice started, but he took a deep breath instead. Astrid's eyes opened and she tilted her head to look at the door longingly.

"It's been, um. A month" His voice said and she could practically heat the miserableness and worry in his voice as he spoke.

"I know that this is terribly hard for you, but, Astrid, just know that I'm here." He continued, making her bite her lip to stop herself from sobbing out loud.

"I'm always gonna be here and I'll always love you" Hiccup told her and she let out a shaky breath. "I love you too" Astrid whispered softly, not loud enough for anyone but her to hear it.

"M'lady, things aren't the same without you. I- i miss you. So much" He began and chuckled lightly at the end.

"P-please know th-that. I-i love you. I know I already said it, but- j-just know. T-that I-i care about you so mu-much" He stuttered out, on the verge of crying. Astrid held in a sob as well and walked over to the door.

She slumped against the wooden door and leaned her head where she assumed his head was as well. She listened to him sniffle softly and wipe away tears.

"Take care of yourself, Astrid. I do-don't know what I would do without you." Hiccup said softly and Astrid heard it from the other side of the door. She heard how desperate he was and incredibly worried.

Astrid sobbed lightly and shook her head in shame, knowing that she couldn't take care of herself. Not when she thought that it was her fault her family was dead and she needed to prove she was strong.

"Please let me in, Astrid" Hiccup pleaded, his voice breaking when he said her name. Astrid choked back a cry and felt her eyes lift to the door handle. Just one move and Hiccup's arms would be around her, loving and warm.

After this whole month of tragedy, Astrid felt herself breaking. Something snapped in her and all she think of was his face with concern and love etched on it.

Astrid needed him.

Suddenly, she heard the door lock click open and she looked up to see her hand wrapped beside the handle. The door was finally unlocked.

Astrid closed her eyes shut, stopping the tears from falling down her face. She heard the door slowly swing open and felt Hiccup crouch down beside her.

"Astrid" He breathed out, tears gathering in his eyes as he looked at her broken figure. He saw how slim she was getting, how her shirt was loose on her body.

"Hiccup" Astrid cried softly, opening her eyes to see his concerned face. He gave her a small smile and held out his arms for her.

She let out a heart-wrenching sob and hugged him tightly, never letting go. He hugged her back and pressed kisses onto the side of her head.

"I'm here. I'm here" He muttered comfortingly into her long blonde hair as she sobbed loudly into his neck. He cradled her skinny body in his hands and cried softly as well.

"It-it's m-my fa-fault. It's all-m-my fault!" Astrid cried into his neck, shaking her head and crying hard. Hiccup instantly frowned and pulled back, placing his hands on her cheeks.

"Astrid. It is not your fault" Hiccup told her firmly and she shook her head again.

"It is! I-if I was str-strong, I-i could've saved them!" Astrid cried out, tears falling down her cheek at a rapid pace. Hiccup bit his lip and wiped them all away with his thumbs.

"What are you talking about? You couldn't have stopped that attack— no one could!" Hiccup tried to tell her and looked desperately into her glassy blue eyes.

"You are the strongest person I know, Astrid. You don't need to prove that to anyone, especially your family." He told her and she pursed her lips, listening to him.

"Is that why you're starving yourself?" Hiccup asked her, a tear falling down his cheek as he thought about it. Astrid sniffled and nodded, making his heart break into two.

"Oh, m'lady" He whispered softly through his clenched teeth, looking at her face and feeling his heart yearn for her.

Astrid nearly melted when he looked at her so lovingly. He looked so afraid that he would lose her, his eyes looking at her and making her feel like the most loved person in the Archipelago.

"Please. Please d-don't do that" Hiccup begged, more tears falling down both their faces. Astrid looked into worried bright green eyes and felt herself nod.

"I'm sorry" Astrid said in a small voice and leaned into his hand, closing her eyes briefly as a tear fell down.

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Ast" He told her, bringing her face closer and pressing their foreheads together. The couple looked into each others cloudy eyes and found a small smile spread on their faces.

Just his presence made Astrid feel better than any other time that whole month. Hiccup lifted the weight she was carrying all by herself on her shoulders for a whole month. She finally felt like her emotions were freed, like she wasn't bottled up and alone.

"I love you" Astrid told him and he smiled wider. "I love you too" Hiccup replied as they both leaned in for a kiss.

She could taste the saltiness of their tears in the kiss, but I didn't take away any of the sweetness. She felt her heart flutter as his lips pressed against hers and she smiled.

Astrid knew that she wouldn't be okay. That she wouldn't be okay for a very long time. But finally with someone to talk to, someone to understand and listen, she would.

With Hiccup, she would always be okay.