SBAWP | Chapter 36

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Hey Guys! 

So I'm done crying over American Idol now (lame, I know) and I'm going to finally finish this chapter. Here goes nothing! 

Dedicated to Samanthaberry2020. It only took 1 line for you to call it. 



I try to make sense of the Moon Goddess's words, but then they slowly start to fade away. Then, they're replaced by more insistent sounds: an incessant beeping, followed by shouting, and then...

Saaaaaaaffron!" Logan cries my name with so much pain, and so much longing, that my heart literally jolts in my chest. Panic floods my vein, until I feel it with everything that I am... until my only thought is to find Logan. Why didn't I go to him when I heard him shouting in the garden? How could I have ignored him and walked around smelling flowers. Logan needed me! So did Zara, and Jess, and the little kids!

I remember what the Moon Goddess said—that they're in The Land of the Wolves—but I don't know what that is. Hopefully, it means they're okay, but what if it's her way of saying they're all dead? How could I have stayed so calm when she said that? It makes no sense, not unless whatever I felt wasn't real. Either the Moon Goddess could control my emotions—control me—or it's all just a horrible dream. Maybe I'll wake up in bed and realize that the entire day never happened?

Wake up, Saf, I chide myself, but an opposing force tries to pull me under and force me to sleep. I fight against it, but then a sudden calm takes over—just like in the garden—and even though I know the feeling isn't mine and I should try to fight it, I feel myself drifting off to sleep.

I don't know how much time passes before I wake up again. My mind feels groggy, and I realize that I don't have a body. Okay, that's not quite right. I mean, obviously I have a body; I just don't know where it is. Okay, that's not it either. Maybe it more like I can't feel my limbs, and I don't know how to make them move. I feel a momentary panic, then another wave of calm. With it comes a memory—a dream about a multicolored wolf in a field of saffron. I start to long for it, but then I remember Logan and my new friends—and maybe even my pack.

I drift off to sleep again and wake up when a woman calls my name. Her soft, melodic voice reminds me of my mother's, and I wish I could move my lips in a smile. I should be worried about that—about not being able to move—but her tone is filled with so much love and caring that I instantly relax. It's almost as if her voice is a blanket that wraps itself around me as drift off to sleep.

After that, I lose count of the number of times I wake up, only to drift off again. It's like I'm stuck in a loop, with a song playing over and over again in the background. I can't remember the lyrics, except four words from the chorus: 'neither dead nor alive.' I hear those words, dancing in the wind, until they're all I can think about. Until, finally, I choose.

I don't know how much time passes before I wake up. I struggle to open my eyes—which is when I realize I can feel my eyes, and my eyelids, and my hands and feet. I feel a humongous wave of relief, only to realize I can't actually summon the energy to move anything. I feel like I've just had the worst run-in with Dad; except that can't be it. Dad sold me to POW, and I moved into the pack house, which means...

Did POW hit me? For some reason, the thought feels wrong, but why else would I be in so much pain? Logan? No, that feels even more wrong. But then who? I can't remember ever feeling quite this bad. Even my face hurts. My eyelids do feel dry and swollen, and my head throbs. My jaw hurts too, and I quickly run my tongue along my upper and lower teeth to make sure they're all still there. Luckily, they are.

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