SBAWP | Chapter 23

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Guys, I'm so sorry if you're in a different time zone and this is super late!!! It's only 7pm (well, 7:13) here, and I just got home and I had to do one final edit and cry all over again before I posted. 

Oh, it also took forever to add back the italics, so if one of you can convince Wattpad to just let me paste those stupid italics, you'll get the chapters like half an hour earlier! 

This  chapter is dedicated to Bev_Storyready because I saw all your comments that said UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE and I was like, okay then! 



Doctor Dev, I need you over here, Father shouts.

Yes, Alpha, Patricia Devon, the head Pack Physician, replies in her usual, gruff tone. I spot a flash of movement and a small, white wolf races across the field. Alpha, Jasper, I need you both to move so I can look at Zara.

Doctor Dev is the only one in our pack who can give Father orders—well, except Mother—and she can only do it in a medical emergency. If anyone's hurt, or needs her help, she automatically takes on the highest rank in the pack. Her word is law, and whatever she says must be obeyed. Even if it means stepping away from your mate.

Please, Doctor Dev, Jasper whimpers. Please.

Jasper, you need to let Doctor Dev look at Zara, Father says gently. He puts an arm around Jasper's shoulder and pulls him back enough to let her through. She immediately back into human form, her long white hair flowing past her waist, and leans forward to examine Zara. Jasper's shoulders tremble as Doctor Dev checks Zara's pulse and opens each of her eyelids in turn. I tense, and my own heart nearly stops as I wait for the doctor to shake her head and tells us Zara's gone; that she lost too much blood, and sustained too many injuries. I swallow hard and two endless seconds pass, before Doctor Dev makes the gesture. Only it's not the one I expect.

With a nod, Doctor Dev starts doing CPR. Breathe, Zara, she orders as she works. Come on, breathe.

I feel a wave of relief, which is quickly replaced by fear as a sudden trickle of blood flows past my fingers.

Mate, my wolf whimpers.

"Safie, my love, you have to shift," I beg, pushing down on her wound. I can't hold in the red liquid keeping my mate alive. I can't beg Doctor Dev to help me, not when that means letting Zara die. So I do the only thing I can. I beg. "Please, Safie. You have to shift, okay? You have to get better, okay? Just please get better and I swear I'll tell the entire pack you're my mate. I don't even care if I can't be Alpha. We'll get an apartment together. We can go to college, and have kids, and go on our fifty dates to Joe's pizza." I feel my eyes water, but I don't care, I just keep talking. "Please Saffie, just do this one thing for me, okay? Just shift for me, and I won't ask for anything else."

A single tear slides down my cheek and and I turn my head up to t he sky as I pray to the Moon Goddess. The sun shines down, warming my face and forcing me to keep my eyelids squeezed tight. As I do, I realize I've only ever prayed to the Moon Goddess at night, by the light of the moon, and never about anything important. Not like this. Not when my entire future, and my mate's life, lies in the balance.

Please, I beg, repeating the words I said to Saffron. Please help Saffron and I swear I'll never ask for anything else.

I look down again, a part knowing it won't work and another praying with all its might that it does. It's at that moment, as those two parts of me war with each other, that Saffron's eyes flutter open. Her pupils are so dilated that most of the brown is covered with black. For a split second, her gaze remains unfocused and then her eyes land on mine and my heart leaps. She's awake! She'll shift, and it'll seal the wounds, and she'll heal.

"Shift, baby. Shift. Now!" I urge. For a second, I think she's heard me. I think she'll do it. She'll shift. Then, her eyes roll back in her head, her eyelids close, and Saffron goes limp. "No," I shout. "No, no, no, no, no. Please Saffron. Wake up. Please wake up."

I wait. I pray to the Moon Goddess again. I beg Saffron again. I try everything I did before, but her eyes remain firmly closed. Nothing works.

Jasper, get Zara to the house, Doctor Dev suddenly orders over the link. She'll need a blood transfusion, and I want her on a ventilator. Go!

Some distant part of my brain realizes Zara's still alive. Some part of me hope that she'll recover and feels a wave of relief for Jasper. The rest of me is so focused on my mate, nothing else exists. My eyes follow the rise and fall of her chest, watching her breathe even as my peripheral vision register Jasper scooping Zara up and starting to run. Father orders wolves to help him—to follow him in case there's an ambush—but all I care about is watching Saffron to make sure she keeps breathing. To make sure she doesn't stop.

Logan, let me take a look at her, Doctor Dev orders as she runs up. She shifts from wolf to human in mid-air and squats down on Saf's other side, trying to move my hands aside so she can press down on wound.

"She wouldn't shift. She opened her eyes, but..." I trail off, my voice breaking.

I understand, Logan, but I need you to let go, okay? I got her.

"O-okay." I swallow hard and let go of the wound. The minute I break contact with Saf's warm body, it's like a fist clenches around my heart, and I want to shove Doctor Dev away so I can take her place.

Mate, my wolf screams and I scramble around to cradle Saffron's head on my lap. Her fur tickles my knees, and I run my fingers through it gently as I whisper into her ear. I'm not even conscious of what I'm saying. Whether I'm telling her I love her, begging her to wake up, or ordering her to shift. I just know I can't live without her. I know that if she stops breathing, I will too.


I don't think I have ever cried as hard writing as I have finishing this chapter. 

I'll update again on Monday.  Until then, take care

♥ I love you all so much for reading STAWP and being here with me and Logan and Saf through the hard times ♥

♥♥♥ When you all stop crying, I have a question for you: what do you think about a STAWP art contest? Like where you can draw your favorite scene from the book and win prizes? Would you enter? Should it just be art, or other categories too like music/video/graphics? And what would make a good prize?  ♥♥♥

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