STAWP | Chapter 43

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He's the bonus scene, as promised. I REALLY THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT!!

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Saffron

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I..." I just yelled at the Alpha's son. I'm supposed to be an Omega. I'm supposed to be terrified of my own shadow. I'm supposed to be small and weak and harmless and not worth locking up in a dungeon. I'm supposed to run away.

I force the trembling in my lower lip to spread to my entire body. At first, it's a struggle, but I let the fear fill me, take over. Then, when I know I look as small as scared as I ever have, I tilt my head, showing him Logan neck in the ultimate act of surrender.

"Why are you doing that?" Logan takes a step back. Instead of getting mad at me for yelling at him—instead of calling me out on it and insisting I'm no Omega—he actually looks scared of me. His eyes are wide, and he has his palms up as if he things I'm going to attack him.

"Why am I doing what?" I whisper.

"That." Logan gestures at me. "Why are you scared of me?"

"I don't want you to hurt me," I whisper, although I'm aware that right now, if anyone looks hurt, it's Logan.

"I could never hurt you," Logan swears.

I can see the pain in his eyes, pain that I'm causing. I'm not being fair to him—fair to Logan—when it's his wolf that urges him to attack. I now know first-hand what it feels like, to have to fight your own Wolf. What if I'd lost control? What if I'd given in to her urge to mate and jumped Logan and tried to... tried to... I can't even think about it without feeling completely mortified.

I want my first time to be beautiful and romantic and special. I don't want my wolf to just jump Logan and get it over with in second. It's a relief to have my wolf under control again, but what if I hadn't ran? What if my wolf took over, and Logan had to fight her—fight me—off? What if every time he saw me, he backed away from me, worried I'd do it again? What if I got control of my wolf again, but Logan was still scared of me.

I get so caught up in my worries that I forget to keep up the Omega act. I'm no longer trembling, or looking terrified, and suddenly I don't want to be. Instead, I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around Logan's waist and pull him close.

Logan threads one hand through my hair and cradles my head against his chest. I can feel his other hand rubbing my back. Being this close to Logan makes me feel warm and safe. At first, it feels so good that I never want to let go, but then things start to change. I become aware of Logan's strong arms holding me close. I can feel his biceps flex, and become aware of his hard, muscular chest. Then, I realize I have my breasts squished against that chest, and feel a wave of heat rush through my body. My wolf is nowhere in sight, but I still pull away. Better safe then sorry.

"Please don't be afraid of me," Logan begs.

"I'm not." I whisper.

"You are." Logan looks so hurt that it breaks my heart.

In that moment, I realize that I need to tell Logan the truth, the whole truth. I know there's a chance that when I do, he'll tell POW, but I have to trust him. I also know there's a chance that once he realizes the Omega act is just that—and act—it'll stop working on him. There's a chance I'm making a huge mistake. I know that. I just can't stand the hurt look in Logan's eyes, so I decide to take the risk.

"I'm going to tell you something." I step closer and lower my voice even though there's no one around to overhear. "Just promise you won't tell anyone? Especially not your dad?"

"I promise." Logan nods. He looks so solemn and honest that I plunge ahead.

"It's something my dad taught me," I whisper. "Looking small, baring my throat... it..." I try to find the right words. "It helps..." Helps. That sounds a lot better than saying that it stops Logan from attacking me. I don't want him to think I don't trust him to control his own wolf.

"Helps what?" Logan still looks confused.

"It calms the wolf." That's what it does. Brings out his protective instinct and helps calms the anger and the urge to attack. "Remember when we talked about instinct?" I think about what else we did in that bathroom except talk, and feel myself flush. "Well, the way I act, it's supposed to help."

"You don't need to worry around me hurting you, Saf." Logan takes one of my hands in his and presses it against his chest. I can feel his warmth through his shirt, and his heart beats against my palm, fast and erratic. "You have to know I'd never, ever hurt you."

I know he doesn't want to hurt me, "But what if—"

"Not buts. I'd never hurt you, Saffron. Period."

"I know." I sigh. Logan looks frustrated, and I get it. He wants to think he can control his wolf, just like I like to think I can control mine. But what if he gives it everything he has and still loses control? "Logan," I say his name softly. "What if you can't help it?"

"Okay, how about this? If i think there's even a one percent chance I might hurt you—which will never, ever happen—but if it does, I'll tell you to run."

"You can't." I pale, thinking back to all the times I ran. All the times Dad gave chase. All the times he caught me.

"Just shift." Logan takes my hand in his. "I'll never catch you."

"You're really... You're really slower than me?"

"Saf, you're fast. The fastest wolf I know..."

"I am?" There's no way that's true. Dad said he was one of the slowest wolves in his pack. Yes, he's gotten faster over the years, and I can outrun him, but there's no way I'm faster than pack, is there?

"You are." Logan insists.

I know I've had practise, and pretty good motivation to run fast, but can it be true? Logan looks so honest, but I can't bring myself to believe it.

"Okay, how about this?" Logan squeezes my hand. "I won't tell you to run. I'll tell you to cower."

I nod. I'm not sure it'll still work if Logan knows it's an act, but I have to believe it will. Because if Logan ever hurts me, I don't think I'll get over it. 

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