Best Friend + Matthew Espinosa

87 | Breakdowns.

My head was killing me, all because of this bullshit that was happening. All from my crying and thinking of him. So the best thing I could at the moment was to sleep. I felt my eyelids becoming heavier and heavier and next thing you know, I was asleep in Andrea's arms. 

•••

Saturday, October 29, 2016- 

A yawn escaped my mouth, raising my arms in the air and arching my back as I stretched. My fingers rubbed my sleepy puffy eyes then adjusted them to the sunlight peeping through the sliding door. I looked around the room I'm in when I forgot what happened last night for one second. I clenched my jaw in anger when I remembered. I rolled my eyes when a flashback of Jessica telling me about her and Matthew came into my mind. 

I stood up from the couch and right when I stood up, a shot of pain hits the side of my head. A hungover, great that's exactly what I needed at a situation like this, I thought to myself. I made my way towards the kitchen to look for some painkillers. When I walked right in, the bottle of painkillers was already placed on the counter with a cup of water and a small note. I took a couple of painkillers and read the note Andrea has left me. 

dear janna, 

i'm about to leave for work so here's a bottle of painkillers because I know you'll be needing it. If you don't wanna go home just yet you can totally stay at my place for a while until you're ready to face him. if you need anything just call me, okay? BTW,  your phone is in my bedroom on the bedside table. I found it on the floor last night and it was dead so I charged it for you. Remember to just give me a call whenever you need anything, okay?  I love you & I'm always going to be here for you whenever you need. I'll see you later, alligator. 

I smiled at her kindness before walking to her bedroom to grab my cell phone. Once I disconnected the charger from my phone, the screen of my phone popped out and it showed how many messages and missed calls I got last night. 

Matthew: please come home. 

Mattew: I'm sorry. 

Mattew: please forgive me. 

Matthew:  ok i know you can't forgive me but just please come home. where are you. i need to know you're safe. please come home. i'll sleep in the guest bedroom just please come home, baby. 

Matthew: jannalyn

Matthew: i'm sorry, baby

I couldn't read the rest, so I just cleared all his messages and read the other messages I received last night from Ryan. 

Ryan: i hope you're okay. I know you're not okay. if you need anyone to talk to, i'm always here for you, princess. i'll always be here. if you don't want anything to deal with anymore, i understand. if you're mad at me, i understand. you have every rights to be mad and upset at me. i love you, princess. 

Then I noticed how many missed calls I received last night too. 5 missed calls from Ryan, 7 missed called from Andrea, and 11 missed called from Mattew. I glanced at the clock attached to the wall. It was still early to go home because I know he'll be there but I had work today. So I just texted Jess that I'm going to be a few hours late and I'll make it up by staying at work until closing. I spent the remaining hours watching tv, eating her box of ice cream and just kept eating until It was okay to go back home and get ready for work. 

•••

"What are you doing here." I spat. I thought I was going to come home to an empty house but nope, he's still here. He quickly stood up from the couch, turned the tv off and faced me. Concerned was written all over his face but I couldn't care less. He stood there looking at me as if I was going to run over to him and forgive him just like that, but it doesn't work like that. 

"I was waiting for you." His shaky voice said. You could from his appearance that he stayed up all night waiting for me to come home to him. He looked beat up. You can see dark circles around his red puffy weary eyes, but like I said, I couldn't care less because knowing that he loves someone else hurts. Especially the last person I expected him to cheat on me with. 

"Look, if you think I'm here to forgive you, run back to you and act as if nothing happened, then that's where you're wrong." I clenched my jaw. I kept my eyes on the carpet, making my way towards our bedroom. I wanted to close the door so I wouldn't be able to deal with him, but he stopped it with his foot. 

"Just please listen to me." His voice broke. I turned around, right when I faced him, I felt my warm tears stream down my cheeks. 

"No! I'm not going to waste my time listening to whatever you have to say." I yelled at him. 

"Why?" His soft voice said. His chin quivered when tears started rolling down his own cheeks. 

"Because you have no idea how much you hurt me, Matthew! You have no idea how much it hurts and for once in my life, I thought you were going to be the last person on this earth to hurt me, but I guess I was wrong." He blinked his tears away. "Think about it. The only person who I love so much since I was young loves someone else. Doesn't that hurt?" I cried. "Why?" My lips trembled. "Why do you love her? What do you see in her that you can't let go?" I didn't want to hear what he has to say but at the same time, I needed to hear his answer. 

"I don't know." He answered. 

"You don't know?" I let out a dry laugh. "What is it because she's better looking than me? Because she's skinnier? Is she prettier?" 

"No!" He yelled. 

"Then what? Tell me the reason why you love her! Tell me the reason why you love her and not me." Saying the last sentence broke my heart even more. 

"That's not true. Don't you dare put words in my fucking mouth. You know me very well that I love you. You know I love you." 

"If you really love me, then you wouldn't be in love with her. You can't be in love with two people at the same time. Maybe you can but we both know that you can only love one of them more than the other." I sniffed. "So tell me Matthew," I wiped my tears away. "Who do you love more me or her?" I didn't even bother saying her name because of how much she disgusts me. 

"I don't know." Was his answer. I looked at him to see if he was really serious right now. I asked him who he loved the most and he answered with an I don't know? 

"We're done. There's no more us." I grabbed my work clothes and headed towards the door but his words stopped me. 

"I made a mistake, okay?" He cried out loud. 

"And I realized I made a mistake too." Don't say it. Don't you dare say it. "I realized that dating you was the biggest mistake in my life. You were right. Dating your best friend really is stupid. You were right all along, are you happy now?" I forced a fake smile on my face. 

"Thanks to you, we're over." 

••• 

Author's note: I kinda cried. oops. this was like the saddest thing i've written in my life. so what do you guys think? what do you think will happen next? only a few more chapters then it's finally over. yay. please vote and comment for more updates!! :)  

300k+ reads for the next chapter?? REMEMBER, the more votes and comments I get the more quicker I update :) I love you all.