"My mum spilled an entire icy glass of Diet Coke on my crotch in a busy restaurant."
"Just tried Ben and Jerry's cake batter ice cream and it was like my tongue had been hugged by 1000 tiny sugary angels"
"My dad thought it would be funny to let me try and park the car at the supermarket. RIP to the 3 bushes and bed of flowers that I murdered."
"Ahh feels so nice to absorb some sunlight! I have defrosted "
"A baby gator just swam past me as I ate my breakfast! I probably looked like a giant pancake buffet to him"
"The cereal choice in America is OVERWHELMING"
"I need a haircut so bad I feel like I have an entire dog on my head"
"Tried to get an early night and woke up an hour later with a moth crawling on my lip. THANKS WORLD"
"I'm more chocolate than human right now"
"Having breakfast in my spectacles watching a documentary about spectacled bears eating a termite breakfast"
"Just had a hearing test and apparently I had THE BEST HEARING HE HAD EVER SEEN! I am a human bat. I am batman."
"Eating spaghetti while watching The Walking Dead isn't the best idea"
"Glasses wearers: do you ever see the reflection of your own eye and then jump? I thought there was a giant eye in the room for a second"
"I got a face wash from lush and it has actual pieces of popcorn in it?! Am I meant to eat them a I wash my face?"
"My taxi driver pulled over at a pub as he had to pee! The meter is running! Am I paying for his pee break?!"
"Deadpool was really funny!! I also ate a large popcorn in record speed and now I feel like a salty slug"
"Can I have extra gluten please? Give me all of that juicy gluten"
"I knocked my entire box of bath bombs into the bath so I just had the most intense bath ever. It was like a smelly glittery volcano"
"Just sent an important email and realized my phone autocorrected 'Phil' to 'Oil me'. "
"BACK IN LONDON! The house is freezing! A polar bear would catch a cold in here. *sets everything on fire*"
"My parents just told me they almost moved to New Zealand before I was born! I might have been AKiwiPhil"
"Just got lost in a farmer's field surrounded by angry looking sheep"
"They fixed my iPhone but now the Z and the S don't work! They're like two of the best letters "
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Famous Quotes
RandomIt's by section. But this time this is about Celebrities and their saying. Hope you like it. #40 in Poetry
