Blue Part Two

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Cameron paces the studio apartment, it's almost midnight and he still hasn't heard from Nash. He's called the house but no one picks up, Nash's parents don't pick up their cellphones either. He chews at his lips as he worries that something has happened to Nash. He decides to call one more time before he heads out in search for his boyfriend.

He closes his eyes as he listens to Nash's voicemail greeting. "Baby... it's midnight and I haven't heard from you. Please call me and let me know you're okay. No one in the family is picking up their phones... I just want to know that you're okay. I'm sorry. I love you, Nash, with all of my heart."

He ends the call and sits down on the floor in front of their bed, he leans his head against the bed and stares at the ceiling as he thinks about the unresolved situation he finds himself in. He knows he shouldn't have pushed Nash so much but each day it gets harder and harder to stop himself from being affectionate in public with the person his considers to be the love of his life. He rubs his face and fights back more tears, he feels hurt, regret and sadness. The turmoil in his soul makes it so that rest is not even an option.

He stares at his phone, willing it to ring but after 30 minutes there has been no call. Cameron stands and grabs his keys. He doesn't have a car, Nash has a car that was gifted to him by his parents after graduation. Cameron can't afford his own car and Nash happily shares it with Cameron.

But now Nash is gone, he won't pick up and Cameron doesn't have a way to drive around and look for him. It's a small town, he knows he could probably find him if he drove around but he has to walk around on foot. He makes the decision to do that, he can't stay in the studio any longer, it's suffocating him.

He leaves, locking the door behind him and sets off with the determination to find Nash. He decides to go to Nash's favorite places in the town; the park and the diner. If he's not there then he'll walk to Nash's parent's house. It's in the outskirts of the town and it will take him almost an hour to walk to it but he doesn't care.

He just wants to make up with his boyfriend.

He walks quickly to the park and looks around for Nash's car. Relief fills him as he spots the car, he wasn't looking forward to walking all around the town but he was going to do it just so that he could find Nash.

When he goes up to the car, he finds it empty and then he turns, scanning the area for Nash. He doesn't see him and he begins to walk towards the lake that's on the other side of the park. He sees a lone figure sitting right by the lake and he knows it's Nash. He jogs up to him but slows down as he approaches him.

Nash doesn't turn, even though he can hear someone coming up behind him. He knows it's most likely Cameron.

Cameron sits down next to Nash, Nash doesn't meet his eyes, he just continues to stare off into the dark.

"I'm sorry, Nash." Cameron says quietly.

"I know," Nash replies simply. His heart feels heavy because he knows that Cameron has every right to want to come out to their friends and family, he has every right to not want to live a lie but Nash's fear of losing contact with his siblings runs deep. It runs deep enough for him to deny Cameron's request and cause problems in their otherwise happy relationship.

It's dark  and no one is around so Cameron feels comfortable enough to shift his position. He nudges Nash back, Nash doesn't resist as he lies back onto the ground and he's not surprised when Cameron swings his legs over Nash's hips and settles on top of him. Cameron cups Nash's cheeks and they stare into each other's eyes silently. Cameron traces Nash's tear tracks with his thumb and he feels such guilt at causing Nash to cry.

"I'm sorry too," Nash confesses softly. He had been thinking about scenarios where they tell his parents that they are together, the anxiety and fear that come with the slightest contemplation of losing his family make him not even want to consider it.

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