Dear Friend Part Two

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My heart drops and starts racing at the news.

This isn't real, it can't be real.

Nash can't have cancer. My beautiful, vibrant Nash cannot be dying. The tears come immediately and I hold Nash even closer. There's no way I'm ever letting him go now.

Nash has cancer.

3 words change my life completely. Nash has cancer.

I'm speechless, I don't even know what to say so I just squeeze my eyes shut and bury my face in Nash's shoulder. My hands grip his shirt tightly as I cry into his shoulder. My body shakes with the force of my sobs, I don't even care that I'm surrounded by his family. The pain in my heart is too much.

I can't lose Nash, he's my everything.

I don't know how much time passes but when I lift my face from his shoulder his family is no longer surrounding us. I guess they wanted to give us time together.

"I can't lose you," I tell him thickly. I make a decision right then, I'm going to tell Nash my feelings for him and I'm going to spend every waking minute with him. Fuck everyone and everything else.

"You're the most important person in the world to me," I continue and he lifts his head to look into my eyes. I lift my trembling hand to wipe his tears with a gentle touch. We stare at each other quietly.

"What's the next step?" I ask him and he lets out a distressed sigh.

"We fight this. I'm getting something called a chest port because they're going to start chemotherapy." He tells me, his voice wavers slightly.

"I'll be here every step of the way, baby." I promise him and his eyes widen slightly when I call him baby. I start to rub gentle circles on his lower back. "You'll have me here, always."

He leans his forehead against mine and I quell the urge I have to press my lips against his.

"I'm so lucky to have you as my best friend," he tells me and I give him a sad smile.

"No, I'm the lucky one." I reply truthfully.

He takes in a deep breath and he lays his head back on my shoulder. I close my eyes and I cherish the time I have with him. I try to imprint the feeling of his warm body pressed against mine, his hot breath blowing against my neck. I grab his hand and intertwine my fingers with his. He's relaxed against me and he falls asleep like that. But I can't fall asleep, I don't want to fall asleep, I don't want to miss a single moment with Nash.

I don't allow myself to really think about what a future without Nash would be like, it's too difficult.

My phone buzzes and I know it's my mom but I ignore it, I don't want to deal with her just yet. I don't want to say the words, as if saying it out loud will cement the fact that Nash has cancer.

My mom keeps blowing up my phone and when Nash wakes up,and stretches I pick up my phone and look at the messages.

6:30pm Mom- cam, dinner is in 30 min, say bye to Nash and head over
6:45pm Mom- are you on your way?
7:00pm Mom- Cameron we are waiting for you.
7:16pm Mom- Cameron Alexander Dallas, you always have your phone so I know you're getting these messages. Why are you ignoring me? We are all here waiting for you and the dinner is getting cold, you better be on your way or you're in trouble.

I roll my eyes but I can't blame my mom, she doesn't know what's going on.

"Do you have to go?" Nash asks softly, I know he wants me to stay and there's no way I'm leaving him, not when he needs me.

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