Becoming Mothers (Marina fanfiction)

Chapter 86

Carina's POV

"Noooo" Maya sat up screaming in the middle of the night.

"Shh Bella. Sei al sicuro, siamo al sicuro (You're safe, we're safe)" I tried to calm her down.

"Mommy" Emma was woken up by her mother's loud cry so she was scared and had tears in her eyes.

She fell asleep in our bed after the movie, but we didn't want to be separated at all from her. So we decided to have a sleepover in our bed.

"S... Sorry, Emy" Maya's voice was hoarse from screaming and filled with emotions.

She hated to be seen as weak even if she couldn't help it. She felt guilty for waking us all.

"I'll.... I'll go for a..." she tried to finish her favourite sentence.

"No, Maya you won't" I said firmly.
I'll not let her slip back into her own black hole filled with depression, self-distroying and shutting me out. "No running this time. We've passed that." I reached for her and pulled her back so she was laying once again. "Bambina can we switch places?" I asked our daughter so I'd be able to hold Maya.

"Si, Mamma" Emma climbed to my other side half asleep.

"Wh... What are you doing?" Maya asked.

"I'm holding you. Letting you feel everything that has happened today." her back came in contact with my front - more like my belly - as I was spooning her from behind. "Feel it, Maya" I whispered into her ear.

"I don't want to" her voice break in mid sentence.

I felt Emma's slow and steady breath on me back which meant she fall back asleep.

"It's just you and me now. Let it out, Bella" I encouraged her once again and finally she let go. All the fear and anger came out. She screamed into her pillow while I just hugged her from behind letting her know she had me through it all.

After a while her breathing slowed down and she turned towards me with her  tear washed face. "Thank you" she whispered.

"Do you want to talk now?" I asked softly after I kissed her lightly.

"Just a little" she smiled weakly "I feel like it's my fault. I should have been there earlier but I chose my job over my family" I needed to stop her.

"Maya you're a first responser. You didn't choose to stay in work later. You responded to a fire and saved lives. That's who you are. You're the Battalion Chief, you don't get to choose. You did what you needed to do and after that you still came and saved us all. " I wiped down an escaping teardrop." Your job doesn't make you a bad mother or wife. Think about all the days when I needed to leave because I had a medical emergency waiting for me at the hospital. Did you feel like I'm failing to be a mother or wife? " she shook her head "Good, because I have. Every time I thought my family would benefit from me choosing to be a researcher, or have another specialty where my schedule wouldn't be based on mother nature." I confessed. "Your daughter adores you" she lifted her head up and looked into my eyes.

"I don't want to completely change the subject but I had a talk with her." I nodded so he carried on "She asked me not be be called Princess because it felt wrong for her. She asked me to tell you this. However she said you don't have to change anything else, I mean she doesn't mind being called Bambina" she made herself clear.

I turned my head and planted a little kiss on Emma's forehead. She was so brave to set boundaries at this ages. She'll become an amazing person.

"Thanks for telling me. Was she nervous?" I wanted to be sure she felt safe enough to tell us everything.

"A little, but after our little talk she asked for my shirt and moved on like nothing happened" Maya smiled wider this time.

"We're doing this whole parenting thing right" my eyes teared up.

"We are, I just don't know what's next" she admitted.

"Nothing. We'll just love her like we did until now, she'll tell us if she needs anything more" I stated simply.

"I love you" Maya said calmly.

"I love you too. Try to go back to sleep. We'll deal with the rest tomorrow" I kissed her forehead and held her for the rest of the night.

A/N
Happy New Year, Everyone!

Thank you for joining me this year by reading this book. I'm so grateful for every views, likes, comments.

You're amazing!