Becoming Mothers (Marina fanfiction)

Chapter 85

Maya's POV

As I placed my hand on the doorknob I realised I was shaking. The adrenaline must have been gone by now.

My mind started to process everything all at once.

I could have lost them today.

All of them.

I wasn't there because I chose my work over them once again. I might have saved them but I betrayed them first.

"Mommy?" Emma looked up at me waiting to go inside the house.

"Right, sorry Princess" I forced a smiled and opened the door.

"Maya" Carina called my name and I knew she needed me close.

"I'm here my love. We're safe now" I wrapped my arms around her body and just held her in the middle of our home.

"Mommies can we have a movie day? With snuggles?" Emma asked from the living room.

She didn't care about the movie. She just needed her moms close to her.

"How about a warm shower and then we can watch a movie in bed?" I offered a solution knowing my girls could be more relaxed if they could lay on top of me.

Her smile died down immediately. She looked at us for a second before speaking barely above a whisper
" Can you help? " she asked while looking at the floor.

She has been showering alone since she was 5. We still had bubble war but only after she was done bathing and sometimes she just went in to shower and came out on her own then asked for a bed time story. It was so unlike her.

"Of course Little one. Come here" I opened my arms fer her.

She ran into my arms with a huge smile. "Thank you Mommy" she whispered into my ear.

I picked her up "To the bathroom and beyond" I recreated our bedtime routine for a while ago which earned a giggle from both of my girls.

They needed it more than I did. I knew I will break down eventually but first I needed to take care of them.

"Honey?" I called out for my wife as I realised she didn't follow us to the bathroom.

"Si?" she looked into the bathroom leaning against the doorframe.

"Come, join us please" I didn't want her to be alone anytime soon. To be honest I needed them to be in my sight at all times.

"Fine but if I get water or bubbles in my face this...." a mischievous smile appeared on Emma's face and with that she blow a pile of bubbles towards her Mamma's face "... time" Carina tried her best hiding her smile but failed miserably.

"Ti ho preso di nuovo, Mamma" (I've got you again Mamma) Emma giggled at her own joke.

"Lei la trova buffa?" (Do you think it's funny?) Carina asked with raised eyebrows.

"No Mamma" Emma stopped for a second before continuing "È divertente" (it's hilarious) her laugh filled the small room.

"Emy I think it's enough for the day." she was right tho. It was hilarious to see my girls joke around again.

"This isn't over, Bambina" Carina said with a raised finger. "I'm going to cook something for dinner" she kissed me softly before she left the room.

"Mommy?" Emma asked shyly.

"Yes Princess?" I wrapped the towel around her and started to walk towards her room with her in my arms.

"I'm glad you came today" she sounded bittersweet somehow.
I placed her down on the bed and squatted down in front of her to be able to look into her eyes.

"I'll always try my best to save you. To save all of you. I'm sorry I was late and you needed to face all this alone with Mamma" I felt a single tear rolled down my face. She needed to see  how an adult deals with emotions even if that meant crying in front of her. This time I let it fall without wiping it off. "I'm so sorry Princess"

She paused for a minute then she reached for my face and wiped the tear off. "It's okay Mommy, you came and you saved us all" she looked down onto the ground.

"What is it, Princess, you can tell me" I knew something was bothering her.

She looked so anxious. She was only 5 and a half and still she was visibly anxious and scared. She was fixated on the ground and took a big breath before saying "I don't like being called Princess anymore" she exhaled loudly.

I just smiled at her and tried to understand what we already suspected with Carina " and why is that?" I held her hand to make her feel safer.

"I don't know Mommy. It feels... It feels wrong." that's all she could tell me now and I was fine with that.

"Okay so how should I call you instead?" I gave the power to her.

"Little one and Emy" she finally looked into my eyes with a faint smile on her face.

"As you wish Little one. Should I tell it to your Mamma?" I wanted to know her boundaries regarding the topic.

"Yes." she nodded

"Does she need to change anything?" I asked one last question.

"No" she shook her head and immediately changed the topic "Mommy can I wear your T-shirt as a PJ for today?"

"Sure, which one?" I asked with a smile knowing why she needed it.

"The blue one with the badge on the front" she explained specifically.

"Be right back" I walked out of the room. As I found the shirt I added Carina's hospital hoodie as well. "Little one I even found Mamma's hoodie if you want too"

"You're the best, Mommy. I love you" she quickly got dressed and we headed out to meet with her gorgeous Mamma in the kitchen.