Chapter 66: Trust and Pain

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Warning: Long and wavering emotions.

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"Was that an acoustic round?"

"Remind me, what is our mission?" Levi looked back as he asked his question, staring all members of the group down with narrowed eyes. "Is it to simply act on impulse in the heat of the moment? Let me answer that question for you. It's not. This squad's mission is to keep this brat alive, whatever the cost. Don't forget it."

His demanding and warning tone snapped everyone back into shape within seconds and I looked back to the path we were riding on.

Grey bricks raced by so fast I thought we were in the air; it was dizzying and disorienting. Was this a part of the grief?

I didn't know.

"We keep pushing forward, on horseback. Is that clear?" Levi asked sharply and almost angrily, facing forward once more as I turned my head to look at him.

"Yes." Was the only response I gave, ignoring the last lives of the reinforcement squad behind us as they were mercilessly snatched from this world. Ollie, the last remaining member of my active team was snuffed out.

"As a bell, sir!" Petra responded with renewed determination. However, that wasn't enough to sway, Eren.

"But for how long? We can't keep running forever! She's right on top of us as is. If we don't do something soon - No! They keep coming! They're going to die unless we turn around and do something!" His desperate and pained voice snapped something inside of me and silent tears burned trails on my cheeks.

"Eyes front! Stop lookin' behind us!" Gunther snapped gruffly at Eren, trying to divert his attention elsewhere.

"Seriously?" Eren shouted back in complete disbelief, not accepting the fact that this was actually happening.

"Keep pace with the group! Maintain top speed or we're all dead!" Eld insisted quickly, coming in to aid Gunther.

"Eld, please! Help them! If the Levi Squad can't stop this thing, then who can? Those people need us!" Eren fired back pleadingly and it hurt - it really hurt - to know we had to keep going.

A loud crunch shot through the air and made my heart ache inside my chest.

Damn it stop!

"Another one! Damn it, he didn't have to die! Come on, there's still one left! We can save him before it's too late!"

"Do as you're told, Eren! Eyes forward!" Petra ordered fiercely in a shrill tone.

"How can all of you just ignore what's happening back there? Are you tellin' me to abandon my comrades? Is that it?" Eren challenged furiously. I kept looking forward despite wanting to look back.

I felt like I was cracking, and at any moment my facade would become dust.

"Damn it, yes! Stop whining and do as your captain tells you!" Petra snapped back, trying everything she can to reason with the kid.

"Why are we letting people die? If this is part of something bigger, why can't someone explain it to me?" He shouts desperately, again shaking my barriers dangerously.

Oluo said something, but at this point my ears were ringing. When his words ceased I lifted my head.

"Eren," I started weakly, "there is a time for everything. A time to live, and a time to die. A time to fight, and a time to run. A time to be a friend, and a time to be a soldier. We can mourn them later, do as your captain commands and think things through."

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