Will of the Broken (Levi x OC)

Chapter 28: Breaking Point

Warning: Levi and Olivia break.

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The whole way to the infirmary, he held my hand. His grip was almost desperate, like I too would disappear.

With the way my head was spiraling out of control, I wasn't so sure if I'd be here presently. The dark side of my mind was trying to swallow me whole on the way.

You aren't worthy of his attention. You let his friends die.

You made them your friends, and left your father's lesson unheeded. You are lacking in discipline. Your walls have crumbled. Where does that leave you?

Weak, pathetic, unlucky, ugly, and naive. You even blew up on Erwin. You showed lack of restraint. Fix yourself before your father finds out.

He will kill you.

I shook my head and pressed on to my desk in the infirmary. Most of the soldiers had been cleared and sent home for recovery while Commander Shadis and Erwin came up with another expedition.

"What happened to the tough exterior?" Levi suddenly asked, halting me instantly. I let go of his hand, suddenly not liking the touch of it.

What did happen? It all started with them, didn't it? I liked their affection... I liked their ways.

"Many things. Things, I wish I could erase but have no heart to do." I muttered plucking the key to my locked drawer from is hidden area behind my anatomy books.

I made my way over to my desk and unlocked the drawer as Levi fell silent again.

"I don't collect items from the dead like others do." I carefully pulled the two pictures of our shared loss from the drawer and let let out a heavy sigh. "While others take their patches or something else to remember them by, I draw them. I would like you to have these."

He looked at me curiously and I held out the individual drawings for him. He took them and I walked back around my desk.

I watched him stare at the drawings for a while. At first there was nothing there, then, there was relief. After that he came crashing down with his grief.

My sketches fell off to the side as he cried against the floor.

Seeing him cry full force like this was enough to push me into the same boat.

I got down on my knees in front of him and gave him an understanding look of pain.

Together, we fell apart at the seams and soaked in one another's presence. If the patients weren't out cold I'd be worried about waking them up with our cries.

Then, something happened that nearly sent me into a panic attack. Levi launched himself at me and gripped the fabric covering my back. I had never actively held someone before. It was even more shocking that it was Levi.

My arms wrapped around him and held him tight. I couldn't offer words of comfort. It was too much.

"They're really gone." He whined, burying his head against my shoulder. I didn't move as his hands held my back tighter. I wanted to pull him away, but reasoned that he needed me more.

"Yes, but their memories are not." I hesitantly ran a hand through his hair and tried to pull myself together. "They will be with you always. Do not regret your decision, you couldn't have predicted the outcome."

Sobs shook his body harshly as he clung to me.

"I miss them so much. It's like being I'm being swallowed by water." He shivered and I held his head still.