Chapter 48: Hanji's Fear

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We arrived outside of headquarters some time in the late evening when the sky had just turned violet.

Hanji, Erwin, and my mother greeted us just outside the stables with curious and relieved gazes. Clearly, they had been waiting a little longer than any normal person would.

The ache that came with the bruising was now close to unbearable as I slid off my horse and looked at the trio before me. Petra and Oluo came out from the stables and took our horses in for us as my mother crashed into me. Her body was trembling. I didn't know if she was relieved or overwhelmed.

She gripped me tight and started crying. I felt my heart jolt in guilt and anguish as she screamed into my chest while my arms held her close to me. Overwhelmed was the correct answer.

"Shh, it's okay mother. I'm here now. I'm not leaving you." My hands held her upright as her legs shook under her weight. Her grief reached out to mine and we sunk to the ground in a two person mess. Tears threatened my clear vision and tried to escape my eyes.

"Olivia, according to what Hanji told me your condition is better. What of a report?" At Erwin's words multiple eyes turned on me. Green, brown, and blue eyes alike landed on me and I pointed back at Levi with a small gulp of restraint. My mother sniffled, grabbing at me like I would disappear right in front of her.

I didn't want to break down anymore. Freya wouldn't have wanted that. With that in mind I tilted my head back towards the sky and let out a shaky exhale.

"Levi has it. Only you three can read it, that is my condition, other than the higher-ups. I understand that it needs to be delivered to Zachary so he can use it for Eren's hearing. Just no one outside of you three." I held my mother as close as I could and stroked her head gently while she rested her head on my shoulder.

"Olive, why did you take so long? You could have been here earlier." Hanji knelt down in my view as I looked back at her and Erwin. I shook my head.

"No, I couldn't have been. Levi had to be at Erwin's side, I didn't have a horse, and I was held up by my team." I lied partially, only revealing small truths. Hanji bought it, but Erwin did not. He knew that I was hiding something, just not what it was.

I planned on letting him know about the suspected murder after Eren's hearing. Until then, I had to get proof and information. He saw that thought in my eyes as I looked at him. A small grateful smile graced his lips and he looked at me pensively.

"Well, let's read your report and talk, then you may rest for the night." Erwin signaled for me to get up and I lifted my mom with me. Her eyes were slightly duller than I'd ever seen them go. It worried me.

"Mother, stay here for the night. There are a few rooms you can pick from, and I won't be to far away," I lifted her chin and wiped her tears away. "Cry no more. Let us remember how Freya lived rather than how she died. We will carry her with us as we live on mother. So stay strong."

Inside my words felt like a lie. I hurt deep down but I was masking it with a thick layer of numbness that would eventually crumble. It felt secure for now, so I gave my mother a wistful smile with some forced optimism. I didn't want to feel this way.

She hugged me tightly, then let go, and looked at Hanji softly. Hanji rose to her feet and tilted her head in a curious manner.

"Can you show me to a room?" My mother's voice was quiet, and thoughtful as if she was debating her choices.

Hanji smiled brightly and held out a hand for my mother to take. Before my mom took it she stopped and looked at Levi who was now beside me. Her eyes were clear once more which meant she had an objective.

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