Breathless {Markiplier X Reader} (#Wattys2015)

Chapter Twenty: Thinking Out Loud

Your high school memories never came back to you. No matter how hard you tried, they just wouldn't come back. Mark wouldn't tell you anything about them. You didn't really know why.
"I mean." You thought. "My life has already sucked enough. How could it be any worse? Well, it sucked until Mark saved me from the ground, at least."

It's been a year since the accident and you've since moved in with Mark. You remember the day he asked you to move in with him like it was yesterday.
"(Y/N), why don't you live with me?" He asked. You were planning to move closer to the University of Cincinnati because your school year started in six months.
"I'm technically already living with you, Mark." You said.
"I mean permanently." He said.
"R-really?" You asked, stunned. While it's true that chemistry between the both of you still existed, he never mentioned wanting to have a relationship with you.
"Of course." You said. "I would love to live with you."

You were getting your stuff together. You had recently bought a car with the remaining funds from your grandpa's will (they were quite rich) so that you wouldn't have to use Mark's all the time.
Backpack slung over your shoulder and with your stuff packed into the trunk to move into your new dorm, you prepared to head out and say goodbye to Mark and tell him that you would see him later.
"(Y/N)." He said, resting his hand on your shoulder.
You turned around to see that he looked really sad.
"What's wrong?" You asked.
"I didn't want to wait until the last minute to tell you this." He said. "I really didn't. I-I just didn't know how to tell you."
"Mark," You said. "What's wrong?"
"It's for the best." He said. "I promise that it won't be permanent."
"Mark!" You said. "Just tell me."
"I-I'm moving to L.A." He said. "It's for some YouTube stuff that I have to do."
"What?!" You said in complete shock. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought that you would be upset." He said.
"The only thing that I'm upset about is the fact that you didn't tell me this sooner." You said.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I knew that you were worried about college and I didn't want you to worry about not having a place to go."
"Well, you're lucky that I signed up for a dorm." You said. "When do you leave?"
"In a month." He said. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine." You said. "I understand. You gotta do what you gotta do."
"I'll miss you." He said, grabbing your hand. "I'll think about you every single day."
"Promise me that we'll talk as much as we possibly can." You said.
"Well, we'll be three hours apart in terms of time." He said. "We'll have to find some way to make it work."
"We will make it work." You said.
A few moments of silence passed before your lips met and turned into a passionate kiss. You dropped your backpack on the floor and wrapped your arms around his neck. He ran his fingers through your (H/C) hair as he kissed you. When you needed a breath, you rested your head on his right shoulder. He wrapped his arms around your waist.
"I love you Mark Fischbach." You whispered. You almost couldn't believe the words that just came out of your mouth. Almost.
"I love you too (Y/N) (L/N)." He said. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to say that."
"Can we just stay together forever?" You asked. "Do you really have to go?"
He pulled you out of the hug but still kept his hands on your shoulders.
"Unfortunately." He said. "Though I wish I didn't. I would love to stay with you."
He glanced at the clock and looked back at you.
"Time for you to go." He said.
"Can you come with me?" You asked. "I don't know when I'll be able to see you again."
"Of course." He said, planting a kiss on your cheek.

As you drove, you thought of the secret that you've been keeping from Mark. You actually have been battling a heroin addiction. It all started when you were living with Mark for three months. You got the craving yet again but it was so unbearable that, while Mark was somewhere shooting videos with his friends Bob and Wade, you searched countless alleys until you found someone who was selling heroin. Since that day, you've snuck out at least once a day to buy a day or two's supply.
Unfortunately, it's becoming increasing harder to hide all of the scars. You've managed to stash the needles underneath your bed and without Mark finding them. You packed all of the needles in one of your bags so he wouldn't find them (plus, you needed them anyway) but you've tried your best to wear long sleeve shirts or to cover the scars up with make-up when you did wear a long sleeve shirt.
You looked down at your arm and saw one of the scars sticking out. You looked at Mark, who was looking out the window. Quickly, you pulled the sleeve down so that he wouldn't see it.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
You nearly jumped five feet up in the air when he said this.
"N-nothing." You said, keeping your eyes on the road.
"(Y/N)." He said sternly. You knew that he knew that you were hiding something. "What are you hiding from me?"
"No." You said. "You're gonna be mad at me."
"I would not." He promised. But you knew that the promise was going to be broken if you told him.
"I can't tell you." You said.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Everyone is allowed to have their own secrets." You said.
"Nothing stays hidden forever." He argued.
"I know but I would prefer if you didn't know." You said.
You pulled into the parking lot, turned the car off, and got out. You opened the door to the back seat and grabbed your backpack. You were about to open the trunk to start bringing your stuff to your dorm when Mark put one hand on your shoulder.
"(Y/N)." He said. "You've been through a lot alone. I want to help you through this."
"You can't." You whispered.
"Yes-"
"Holy shit! Is that Markiplier?"
"Shit." You thought. "Some damn fangirls spotted us. But it'll give me a chance to not tell Mark about the addiction."
Suddenly, you found yourself being shoved away by a group of fangirls wearing Markiplier shirts. They were begging for his autograph.
"Listen." He said. "I'll give each and every one of you autographs if you promise me that you won't tell your friends that I'm here. Okay?"
"Okay!" They all screamed excitedly.

After Mark had signed their shirts and taken selfies with all the girls, he waved goodbye to them and turned back to you.
"Walk the stuff up to the dorm and talk." He said, taking your keys and opening up the trunk. He gave the keys back to you soon after. You put them in your pocket and sighed, grabbing the first box that you saw.
"Aren't you worried that you're going to get attacked again?" You asked.
"Nah." He said. "Besides, I don't mind really. I like meeting all of my fans. It's quite nice."
"Must be." You said. Since your year of living with Mark, you've gained ninety thousand more subscribers, bringing your subscriber count to ninety-five thousand, which you thought wasn't too shabby.
"Hey, you got fans." He said. "Ninety-five thousand is a lot of people when you think about it."
"Yeah but it's nothing compared to how many you have." You said. You had just found your dorm room. It was quite large. You liked that because it might give you some distance between your roommate in case that you didn't like them.
"Hey, I worked my ass off to get to the point that I'm at right now." Mark said. "You think that all of my fans were just given to me? No."
"It would have been nice though." You said. "You have to admit that."
"Yes." He said. "It would have been nice. But I think that you love something more when you work for it yourself."
"Why do I feel like I heard that somewhere?" You wondered as you continued to walk back to the car to get more boxes and bring them up to your dorm. "Oh well. Maybe I'm just crazy."
"Hey (Y/N)." Mark said when the two of you had made the third trip down to the car.
"Yeah?" You said as you picked up a box and began to make your way back to the dorm.
"You've kinda been acting really strange lately." He said. "Is everything okay?"
"Of course it is." You said. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know." He said. "Maybe because your nervous for college?"
"I am but I wouldn't be acting weird because of it." You said.
"Shit." You thought as soon as those words came out. "I just dig myself into a hole where I have to tell Mark about my addiction."
"Then why are you acting weird?" He asked. "You know you can tell me anything right?"
"Of course I know that." You said. "Why wouldn't t I know that?"
"I don't know." He said. "But, what's wrong? I'm asking you a legitimate question."
"Mark, you already tried this in the car." You said. "It didn't work then and it sure as hell ain't gonna work now."
"Please (Y/N)." He begged. "I want to help you."
"Well, it ain't gonna work." You said. "So just stop trying."
"I will never give up on you." He said. You had just finished unpacking your stuff on your half of the dorm (making sure that you unpacked the needles and stashing them somewhere safe when he wasn't looking) and he placed both of his hands on your shoulders. "No matter how hard you try to push me away, I will always come right back. Because I love you."
"I love you too." You whispered. You wanted him to ask you to be his girlfriend after all of this time but you knew that he wouldn't because you were going to college and he was going to L.A. in a month. Long distance relationships never seem to work anyway. "But, this is my problem, okay?"
"Your problems are my problems." He said. "Don't you understand that?"
You locked your gaze with his and finally decided that it was time.
"Fine." You said. "But promise me thy you won't freak out."
"I promise." He said.
You took a deep breath and pulled up both sleeves of your shirt, revealing countless scars from the needles.
"Oh. My. God." Mark said, looking down at your arms. "(Y/N), how could you not-"
"I didn't want you to worry about me, okay?" You said, turning away from him. "All you would have done is nag me about going to rehab. Well, guess what? I don't wanna go to that hellhole! And if I told you, you would have made me go!"
"But don't you want help?" He asked. "This is slowly killing you. And every time you inject yourself, your one injection closer to the one that's going to kill you."
"Don't remind me." You said.
"I am going to remind you." He said. You were surprised that he wasn't yelling at you. "You need help."
"But I don't want to go to rehab along with college." You said. "That's going to suck."
"It's for the best." Mark said. "There's no way in hell that the girl I love is going to go down like this."
"School starts in a week!" You said. "I can't go to rehab full time!"
"Then you'll go during breaks." He said. "And you'll be going during the summer. I'm also going to make sure that your roommate keeps a close eye on you."
"You don't even know who my roommate is!" You said.
"Oh, but I can find out." He said. "You're not going to get out of this (Y/N). No matter how hard you tried."
You sighed and thought about the hell that you were going to be facing for who knows how long?