Impress Me Not: The Handyman

Chapter 52

He was wondering why he had been feeling off the night before. He forced himself to go to sleep after an hour or two of just staring at that nightstand. He couldn't figure out why he was feeling so bad. Everything had gone well that day. He had a lot of fun with everyone, and they all found ways to cheer everyone up.

It wasn't until he woke up and noticed the date that he remembered. His mind had somehow knew exactly when this was going to happen, even when he tried his hardest to forget about it.

He didn't know what to do. His body just went into an autopilot mode. He called off work, saying that he wasn't feeling well. It was pretty rare for him to call out, so it wasn't like they were going to give him a hard time about it. Then he gave Maya a text for when she woke up. He told her to just eat some cereal because he was being called in early for work. A part of him wished that were true. But it wasn't, and there was no way that he was going to have Maya see him like this again.

No one had seen him like this in a long time. He thought he had gotten strong enough to not do this every year. But, every time the day came, it all came back to him. Everything that he had in that nightstand was taken out. He spread it across the floor. Pictures, jewelry, awards and certificates. One of them was even their marriage certificate. Solomon had kept it all there. Because if it was all there, then it was safe. If it was all there then Solomon wouldn't have to feel completely alone when he was asleep.

When would this pain end? The tears always dried and he always tired himself out eventually at the end of these days, but the pain was forever there, no matter what. It left him weak, like nothing in the world could save him at that moment. He was drowning in his own sorrow, over someone who had been out of his life three years ago.

Someone he had basically betrayed by dating again.

All the bad thoughts that he ever had all decided to come out to the open. It coiled around him with all the negative things that it had to say. Even the good memories were painful. Because it was those good memories that made him miss Somner all the more.

"Solomon!" Someone came in. He prayed that it wasn't Maya. He couldn't have her see him like this. Not again. She was terrified the last time it happened. What child wouldn't? She didn't know what she could do, and didn't have anyone to turn to.

Strong arms grabbed him. He missed being held by strong arms like this. It comforted him as they pulled him closer. He was practically on his lap at this point. He felt safe there. He rarely felt safe on days like these. Usually, he just cried alone until he couldn't anymore. Then he would try and hide it from Maya and pretend that he just had a boring day at work.

"Solomon," the sweet voice murmured in his ears. And hands went up and down his back to soothe him more. "What's wrong baby?"

"It's our anniversary," he barely choked out. He was surprised he could talk at all. But the familiar voice somehow was able to coax him to say more.

"What do you mean?" he felt lips on his head. It felt so good to be cared for like this. Solomon hadn't had anyone do this to him in a long time. It felt like he was holding him together in a way.

"Somner and I," he told Niko. "It was our anniversary today."

And he was now spending it in someone else's arms. What kind of husband was he? Why couldn't he just stay single the rest of his life? Why did his heart always try when it came to things like love? He would be miserable without it, but at least he could say that he was loyal to the very end.

But what was life without trying? Jessy was right. He needed to let Somner go. He just didn't know how. Every time he tried, he would go back to thinking about him.