I'm Scared

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I want to so bad

I don't care if I've said it a million times

The urge is so strong

I don't know if I can hold on

Everything is bombarding me

Like I've been devoured by the sea

As if the sun decided it didn't want to shine for me anymore

Like the stars retired and burned out

And I want to so bad

And I'm scared

I shouldn't want to hurt myself this badly

I'm honestly terrified

My parents say that they're scared

But they don't see

They don't get it

They don't understand that I'm not just sad

I'm scared

I'm so scared

Terrified

And that makes me want to do it even worse

My fire is burning out

I keep throwing water on it so no wonder

But if I try to give it more wood

It hurts me

Worse than me hurting me

So I'm scared

And I want to do it so badly

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