I Almost Did

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I almost did it

I almost scarred my own skin

I almost took that blade

And slid it across my skin

I almost saw my blood slowly rise to the surface

Almost being the key word

I held it to my wrist

Began to slide my hand across

When I realized

I don't want these scars

I don't want to see them

And be reminded of this moment

I don't want to keep souvenirs from this horrible time

So dropped it where I stood

Turned and walked away

But not before burning my flesh with hot piece of metal

Not before scratching my skin all over with a knife

Not before causing pain to myself

Because I might not want to leave scars

But I want the pain

I need the pain

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