Suicide?

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I did something bad

Something worse than usual

I took the blade

One step further

I took the pills

Till I felt quite ill

I banged my head against the wall

Until I felt like I would fall

I cried my eyes out

My heart is now in drought

I went back for more

Took a few more pills

Just experimenting

I counted to make sure the whole time though still

I can't shake this hopeless feeling

Like I'm not good enough

Like I don't want to be here

I haven't ever been suicidal

I might be now

I don't know though

Is the above enough to show

That I want myself gone

I want sleep

I want peace

But I don't want to die

I keep pushing myself closer to the edge of it though

Is that suicidal?

Or is that simply a title

Used to describe people at their worst

When their heart and soul hurts

I don't know

But I know that I want sleep

I want peace

And maybe

Quite possibly

I want to die.

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