It Won't Ever Get The Best Of Me

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How hard do you think it is?

To hold it back

To keep what plagues me

Locked up in my brain

I beat it, sure

I won

But winning doesn't mean it's the end

It follows me around

Like a cloud promising destruction

It scares me

Because I never want to go back to that place in my life

It hurts me

When I think about how I felt things that nobody should, but yet so many do

It taunts me

The easiness of giving up

Trust me, I don't want to die

But sometimes I wish I did

Because it's all easier that way

Without having to fight it

Without holding it back

Without having to make sure to smile and keep myself happy

It was a darker place

One I never want to go back to

But god, it was easier then

It was easier to give up and it always will be

But that's why I'm here today

Because I didn't give up

I fought

And through fighting I brought back my will to live

I'm strong now

And my eyes have been opened to something that I can never forget

I will never forget how it felt

But I can't go back there

Because, even though giving up is easier...

It's not what I need

It's not what I want

And it's not something I can let myself do

So I don't live in the past

And I don't live in the future

I don't let myself have false hope

Or give in when things get hard

Because even though it's scary

It will always be a part me

It just won't ever get the best of me

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