Not Pretty

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I don't try to make it seem nice

Or poetic

Or amazing

It's not

Please, don't ever think your normal life is boring

It's not

It's what I wish for every night as I cry myself to sleep

It's why I cry when I listen to sad songs

It's why I'm so weak

You don't want to hate yourself

It's like hating something you can't get away from

It's not fun

Or special

It's just not

I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy

I wouldn't want anyone else to have to sit asleep at night

With razors sitting in their lap, waiting to be used

I don't want anyone to have a constant death wish

No one deserves it

But yet here I am

Me and all the many others who feel the same

Depression doesn't make you special

Or unique

There's so many people with it

So it just makes you sad

Sad and just like everyone else

So don't wish you were more interesting

You're perfect

I'm not

And no matter how many times anyone tells me I am

I can never truly believe it

Because deep within I will always carry this self hate

Depression is a monster

It's a demon

It's ugly and twisted

Deep and dark

It's not cool

And it's not pretty

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