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Urges To Kill

9 1 0

I don't understand

Everything's going perfectly

I'm doing well in school

My parents are okay

I haven't done anything wrong

But yet, I've never felt the urge to kill myself this strongly

I like to say I won't

And that's it's only another urge

But it's so strong

And images are flashing in my mind

Pictures of me taking some more pills

More than I should

I can still taste the disgusting metallic flavor of the medicine

The desperate gulps of water

Trying to wash it down

And I want it again

I want it so bad

But the dark isn't ready for me

At least not yet

So I suppose I have to hold on

I'm not sure why

But I feel reluctance

It's stopping me from ending it all

But I want to die

And I can't get rid of that feeling

As much people like to think I can control it

I can't

So when I get these urges

These urges to kill

I hold them back

But someday

Someday

I promise you

They'll get the best of me

And to kill these urges

I might have to kill the source

And we all know what-

Who-

That is

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