Problem Kid

Chapter 14

I know I regained consciousness at some point a little later than when i had passed out however I can't remember much. Just seeing Kelsey check on me and falling back asleep almost instantly with Summer rooted to my side. The next time i wake is in the morning when my curtains are torn open, causing me to hiss.

"It's 6am, lovie. 20 minutes to get ready before you head down to breakfast!" I groan, slowly sitting up and running a hand through my hair. With a reluctant glance at the clock and a large yawn, I step out of bed and slide my plain black slippers on, walking over to Summer's bowl. As soon as i pick up the food packet, she hears the rustle of it and rushes to my side. I place her now ready meal in front of her, causing her to instantly inhale it as i choose my clothes. I settle on  a pair of black ripped jeans and a YBNO t-shirt. I pick up a hoodie but decide against it after seeing the girls yesterday not caring about their arms. I mean, this is a psychiatric ward. It's not like anyone will judge me. I throw the hoodie back into the drawer, take out a black bra and boxers along with some plain black socks, and and head into the bathroom. I move to shut the curtain however, after recieving a stern glance from Kelsey, I pull it back open. Instead I turn away as i take off my clothes, making sure to slip my spare blades out of my old bra and into my new one before tugging my t-shirt on, which hangs loosely on my body. Must've stretched in the wash. Once dressed, I throw my old clothes into the laundry bin and pick my hairbrush up off of the counter. Some clumps of hair fall out as i run its black plastic bristles through it, causing me to sigh in annoyance.

"Anorexia perks," I mutter, rolling my eyes and throwing my brush into the top drawer of the unit which i then take my makeup bag out of. I move it to the bathroom where I open it up and begin applying what i need to onto my face. first, the base layers of primers, concealer, powder, and concealer. And then I move onto my eyes. Thick black eyeliner, smokey eye, thick black mascara and done. Oh wait, dark purple lip. DONE! I leave the bathroom, placing my small makeup bag back in the spot it came from before and turning to Summer who is lapping up some water from the bowl. I realise I hadn't taken Summer out to go potty before passing out last night and instantly rush to get her into her leash and harness. Her essenssials for the day fill my backpack which i sling onto my back after taking a poop bag out and placing it in my pocket.

"Can we go outside please? I need to let her go toilet," Kelsey nods, leading me out of my room and to a door which she unlocks. It leads out to a small stretch of grass which is about 10 meters by 30. I send Summer potty and pick up the mess, placing it into a bin nearby before hurrying inside to my chair, feeling dizzy.

"You ok?" I nod, falling into my chair and leaning down to catch my breath. I scratch at my wrist, just above the bandage from last night, the skin itching.

"Let's head to the canteen, ok?" I growl and keep my arms limp at my sides.

"Don't wanna," i moan like a small child.

"Well you gotta. You'll be meeting Jessie there anyways," she replies, taking my chair handles and pushing me off, down the halls and to the hellish canteen as Summer trots beside me.
"What do I have to eat today?" I ask, dreading the answer.
"I think it's some kind of pancake day or something," I mutter how 'great' it seems, sarcasm dripping from my tongue.
"You've got this, it'll be fine," I nod.
"Sure. Totally fine," I whisper as the double doors open, the sickening smell of pancakes filling my nose and making me gag loudly. Kelsey notices and pats my shoulder, causing me to flinch. With a small, sympathetic sigh, she retracts her hand just as Jessie trots over to us, smiling sadly.
"I'll take her now," Summer wags her tail at Jessie as she takes my bars. I mouth 'sorry' to Kelsey, waving slightly as she leaves and tugging my sleeve back down as my bandage is revealed.
"I heard about last night in handover," I remain silent as she sets me at a table.
"We'll talk when I've got your food. Syrup or jam?" I shrug and she sighs, leaving me alone.
"Tuck," summer does as she's told and I pat her head gently. She settles on the floor at my feet, slightly concealed under the ugly green table.
"I'm back. Here, I got you orange juice to drink with it," I nod.
"Water?" She sighs.
"I'll get it now," and she disappears again for a minute before settling in the chair beside me.
"So, you want to tell me what happened?" I sigh.
"To be honest, no. But I presume that was a rhetorical question so fine. Whatever. Ugh," I roll my eyes and speak.
"I cut myself. Story time over," I mutter, cutting into my first piece of pancake and dipping the tiniest bit of it into syrup. It stays hovering in the air beside my mouth for a few minutes before I lower it back down.
"That's not what I meant for you to tell me and you know it," I groan.
"Fine! I felt bad because I didn't want to be here and I ate and I'm fat and I hate myself and everything around me. And I want my Jimmy," my voice cracks and tears begin to pool at the edge of my eyelids. I squint, attempting to hold them back, however they fall anyway. I give up holding it back and allow myself to cry. Summer hops up onto my lap with her front paws, gently licking my hands to stop me from scratching myself, which I had been doing subconsciously. With a small whimper, I bury my face into her fur and allow myself to cry into her soft, warm body. Jessie allows me to do so for a good 15 minutes when I finally lift my head, wiping the tears from my face with one of my sleeves. After a moment, I'm calmer and able to return to my meal. Ugh.
700 calories for the 4 pancakes plus the pot of syrup. Way too much.
"You can do this," I shake my head.
"No. No I can't, Jessie," she pats my hand.
"You can, everleigh. You've got to be strong. For your mother. For your teacher. For Jimmy," I glare at her.
"If it were that goddamn easy, I wouldn't be sick enough to be locked in this loony hospital, would I? You think I don't want to be ok? Of course I do! But I can't, ok? So leave me the hell alone! I'm done," I push the plate away, taking my breaks off and fitting my hands around the wheels before turning, my cast banging awkwardly on the metal of the chair, and call Summer to follow me to the door. Jessie instantly follows me, blocking my way at the door.
"Jessie, I'm not in the mood! Just get out of my way!" She shakes her head.
"You need to eat, Everleigh! You CAN do it! I mean it!" I growl angrily.
"LET ME GO!" She sighs.
"Fine. But you're coming somewhere with me," I sigh and allow her to take the handles of my chair and wheel me down the halls to the staff room. She leaves me beside the desk, picking up the phone and shaking in a number before turning away and talking to whoever is on the other end. I can't hear a word she says, to my annoyance.
"Ok, here," she turns, handing the black phone to me and I sigh, holding it up to my ear.
"Hello?" I whisper.
"Ev? Baby? Hey!" My heart drops through my stomach and tears fill my eyes.
"Saint Jimmy. I love you," I whisper and Sunmer hops onto my lap, sensing an emotional overload.
"Baby... you ok?" I shake my head, crying.
"I can't do it," I break down, "I can't do it, Jim. I'm sorry," I hear him choke up.
"Baby, of course you can do it. I know you. You've beaten this before, you can beat it now," I sob down the phone.
"No... I cut last night... I barely ate yesterday... I'm a failure. Why do you even want to stay with a mess like me? How do you even love me? I'm useless!" I yell the last part down the phone and cry harder when I hear him sobbing.
"No baby... you're in no way a failure! I love you because of how strong, powerful and amazing a person you are. You're the most beautiful, strong, magical and loving person I've ever met. Nobody is Better than you in my eyes. You're so so so strong. You can do it!" My eyes let out another Niagara Falls of tears.
"But I left the breakfast hall today... I'm not even strong enough to eat!," My protests become weak as his voice comforts me.
"Listen to me, Ev, you can do this. I want you to get yourself back into that hall and eat. What are you having?" I mutter the word pancakes and he sniffs.
"Remember the first time I stayed over at yours and we cooked those pancakes? The ones I tried to flip but got one stuck on your wall. Your mum was so angry because it made a grease stain and you told her it was you because you was so worried she'd get a bad first impression of me but she didn't yell or flip out. She was angry, but she pushed it aside and laughed at us. And then you almost killed us all by setting yours on fire and setting off the fire alarm?" I choke on my laughter, tears still flowing from my face as he memory fills my mind.
"Jimmy! Oh my god! Mum is gonna kill us!" I rush over to the wall, desperately scraping the pancake off of the neat white paintwork and panicking when I see the large circular stain left on the wall.
"What's going on in here?" I see my mum at the doorway who has a face of thunder when she notices the mark.
"Mum! It was me! I'm so sorry!" I expect her to yell however I get the opposite reaction. She bursts out laughing, causing us to do the same.
"Oh my god, you're honestly hopeless at cooking!" I laugh and she leaves the stain, heading back to the front room for the next half of Emmerdale.
"Love you!" I yell to her and she repeats the phrase.
"Well.... your turn to cook!" Jimmy pokes me in the ribs with the spatula and I Yelp, poking him in the cheek.
"Git," he laughs and I set the pancake cooking, beginning to chase jimmy around the kitchen until an angry burning smell fills my nose. I turn to see my pancake, blackened, in the pan. Jimmy laughs loudly and I kick him in the shin, causing him to yell at me and carry on laughing.
"Oh my god!" I scream as the pancake sets on fire, causing my mum to rush into the room. I hide behind the counter, foolishly, as the throws the burning piece of mess into the sink and runs water over it. The frying pan lands on top of it as the fire alarm shrieks. I watch Jimmy flap a tea towel below the screaming machine and my mum turning off the stove and rushing more water over the now soggy black pancake thing.
Finally, the shriek of the alarm stops and we all stay silent for a moment, before my mum speaks up.
"Well... that was disastrous. Why would you hide behind a countertop, Ev? I'm pretty sure that won't stop a FIRE?" She laughs and I laugh too, embarrassed.
"Yeah... well done, Ev! We need to put you back in fire safety class with the 6 year olds," he pokes my leg before reaching down and pulling me up to my feet.
"Sign her up for basic cooking whilst you're at it," mum laughs and I groan in embarrassment, taking a bite out of Jimmy's pancake on his plate and causing him to chase me around the room as I swallow the rest of the small circle whole.
"Heyyyy! My pancakeeeeee!" I laugh.
"Sorry, Jimmy boy! That's mine now," I stick my tongue out and he runs at me, crashing into me and causing us to both fall into the sofa, a ball of laughter. I stare into his eyes and instantly realise: he is the one I love the most.
"Yeah... I remember..." I wipe a single tear drop from my cheek, smiling at the beautiful memory.
"You stole my pancake," he still has a little bitterness in his voice and I laugh gently.
"It was delicious," he laughs.
"You ate that pancake without a seconds thought. Why don't you imagine those pancakes are our ones?" I smile gently.
"I guess I could try..." he cuts me off.
"Don't try. Do. You can do this, just remember that memory as you do it. I believe in you, Ev," I smile as he encourages me.
"Ok," I hear a voice in the background on his side.
"Jimmy? What you doing out of class? Why are you crying? Is that Everleigh!" I hear Mr Gray's footsteps quicken and he tells Jimmy to come to his room, calling hello to me down the phone. I hear them walk and he asks to talk to me.
"Hey, Ev!" I greet him.
"How is it?" He asks and I raise an eyebrow.
"Absolutely FANTASTIC! I love being locked in a torture chamber against my own will," he laughs.
"Sarcastic as always," I smirk.
"Honestly, It's here to help but it's not really done anything good yet so, yeah. I cut last night, I'm not eating-"
"She's about to!" Jimmy calls in the background.
"Fine! I'm GOING to..." Mr Gray congratulates me.
"Thanks. Well, I'd better go if I'm gonna get any food. Thank you guys. Love ya! Can I speak to Jim before I go, please?" Mr Gray hands the phone back after saying goodbye.
"Hey. You've got this baby. I love you," I smile.
"I love you too. Go back to maths, yeah? I love you so so so much, Saint Jimmy," he laughs.
"Ugh, maths. I'd much rather talk to you, whatsername," I laugh.
"Well, I'll call you later. Maybe at lunch if I can? Go on, go learn you pieceof shof," he laughs.
"Ok, bye Whatsername!" I smile at the nickname, which seems to have stuck.
"Bye, my Saint Jimmy," I gently place the phone down and turn to Jessie.
"Thank you... so much..." she smiles and I reach my arms out, clinging to her embrace.
"I'm so lucky to have you as my nurse," she smiles.
"And I'm lucky to have you as my patient," I laugh.
"Lucky?" She nods, pulling away.
"Yes, lucky," I smile.
"Well... can we go back to the canteen, please?" She smiles as I begin asking the question, nodding and pushing me towards the door.
"Summer! Side!" She comes and falls beside me, trotting down the halls at my hip, heading into the large canteen as I take in a deep breath.

I'm ready.