Once I've finished repairing my makeup, I take a wad of tissue from beside the toilet and quickly wet it under the tap before moving over to the bloody wall. With all the strength I have, I begin to scrub the blood stains as hard as I can. Thankfully, it comes off easily and only takes me 5 minutes to fully clean up. I'm slightly out of breath as I throw the pink stained tissues into the bin. I turn around and stare back into the mirror. My reflection doesn't look like me anymore. It's like I'm the hollow shell of myself, broken into thousands of little pieces. I want to be normal, I want to feel okay and I want to be happy and healthy but I know that's never going to happen. I'm in pain and I'm going to be in pain until the day I die, whether it's anorexia, suicide or a freak accident that kills me I know that only then I will find true peace. I can never understand the people who fear death. What's so scary about eternal nothingness? To me, that sounds like pure bliss. No more chronic illness, no more knawing hunger pains, no more cuts and blood, just peace. It sounds amazing to me. Peace.
"Everleigh?" Sam's voice shocks me out of my trance so hard that I physically jump.
"Shit, Sam! You scared the fuck outta me..." I say, my heart racing. He apologises.
"It's fine, don't worry. Are you here to get me out of this place?" He nods.
"Yeah, they're just speaking to the doctor quickly to check everything is sorted. They told me what happened and-" I cut Sam off mid sentence.
"Sam, I don't want to talk about it. Please, just leave it," he sighs, leaning against the doorframe and rubbing his eyes.
"We can't just avoid everything bad that happens, Ev. We need to deal with shit, not push it away," I look down at the ground.
"I know... I'm sorry. I just really can't talk about this right now. Please?" I say, fiddling with my hands.
"Fine, okay. I'm sorry for pushing you. Do you want to come out of the bathroom?" He asks me and I nod. Following him out slowly. We both sit on the edge of the bed in silence for a moment. When I look up from the ground, Sam's face looks pained and his gaze lingers on my arms. I cross them, guilty. He quickly looks away and I reach behind me to get my hoodie. I slide it on in silence.
"When?" He asks. I groan, not wanting to talk about it. Sam turns to me and stares straight into my eyes. "When, Everleigh?" I stammer for a moment before speaking.
"When I ran-" He shakes his head instantly and grabs my hand.
"Everleigh, please. When?" I can hear the pain in his voice and it breaks me to pieces.
"When I had a shower, okay?! Happy? Just leave it, Sam. For fuck sake please just leave it. It's been a shit few days, I'm exhausted and hurt and I just want to have a smoke and go home. Please can we just move on from this? Please," I beg, holding back angry tears. I can't fuck up my makeup again.
"Okay." Is all Sam says. His voice sounds like he's just given up and I don't know if I'm happy or hurt about that.
"Okay..." I reply and we sit in silence for a moment until a knock at the door makes Sam turn. I stay still.
"Oh, hey Jimmy, you ok?" My stomach sinks and guilt suddenly fills the previously numb pit inside of me
"Yeah, thanks Sam. Everleigh, can I talk to you?" I stay facing away because I know that if I see his hurt face, I'll break down. Instead, I just nod.
"I'll give you some time. I'll be in the waiting area if you need me," Sam says before leaving. Jimmy takes his space beside me on the bed. Summer instantly rushes over and licks his hands. I look down to the ground. We are silent for a moment until he breaks the silence.
YOU ARE READING
Problem Kid
Teen Fiction[NEW CHAPTERS RANDOMLY RELEASED] ⚠️⚠️18+ due to mature themes⚠️⚠️ Everleigh has never had a normal life. After losing her father as a young teenager, she fell into the painful routine of self harm and eating disorders, repeatedly checking in and out...
